


You Remind Me What I Used to Know

by NyxEtoile, OlivesAwl



Series: Tales From the Tower [17]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic, F/M, Family, Married Couple, Married Sex, New Year's Eve, Newborn Children, Post-Pregnancy, Steve Rogers as a Dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-06-01 15:03:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6525034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxEtoile/pseuds/NyxEtoile, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlivesAwl/pseuds/OlivesAwl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <img/>
</p><p>Tony studied him a moment. "I'd take the chance to sleep next to your wife, if I were you. It's an opportunity that'll become vanishingly rare."</p><p>That did sound appealing. "He's so tiny. I don't want to be away from him."</p><p>"I will let you in on a secret, that doesn't go away when they get less tiny." Tony got to his feet. "Look, I don't pretend to know what you're going through. I'm sorry your introduction to parenthood has sucked this badly. But I do know this—you are a better father if you take care of yourself and your marriage. I tried staying up all night, taking taking care of Ruby and Pepper and working and Banner had to throw me out of the labs. You can't be everything to everyone at all times. We trust Doc with our lives all the time and she's never let us down. Trust her and all the other nurses and doctors with your son for a few hours and spend some time with Sharon. It'll do you both good."</p><p>Steve found himself smiling. "Am I going to need to repeat that back to you in six months?"</p><p>"Yes, though I suggest switching out Sharon's name for Pepper or we'll both be in trouble."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Starts during Chapter 13 of _The Curse and the Blessing, They're One and the Same_ and tells the story of Steve, Sharon and little Joey and the very human fears that even superheroes and spies face.
> 
> Title comes from the song Brand New by Ben Rector.

Steve’s sole and only experience with childbirth had been the waiting room while Edie was being delivered. Amanda had had a c-section, so there was none of the screaming and tearing and _don’t look_ Tony had warned them about. But it hadn’t been an emergency. Everyone was calm, and then Bucky had come out with a perfect, pink, blanket wrapped bundle for them to coo over. It had still seemed peaceful, and beautiful. Bucky had sat in a chair by her head and both of them had heard the baby’s first cry.

This was not how Steve’s son’s birth had happened.

It was eleven weeks before Sharon's due date. Something had gone very wrong with the baby, something they might not have even known about if Wanda Maximoff hadn't sensed he was is distress. They'd called Doc, then they’d called an ambulance, two actions Steve had no idea how he had the presence of mind to do.

He’d followed the ambulance down the highway, chased the rolling stretcher as Sharon was run through the emergency room doors. There was a flurry of activity once they got upstairs to L&D. He couldn’t do much but wipe the tears of Sharon’s face and stroke her hair, so very grateful that Amanda was there to speak doctor with the doctors so he could pay attention to his wife. Seemingly as soon as they’d arrived, she was whisked back out to surgery. They were going to deliver the baby now.

The OR doors were shut rather firmly in his face.

“They’re letting me scrub in,” Amanda told him. “You need to stay here. Sharon will be under general anesthesia.”

He turned a glare on her. “I helped you operate on Bucky. I can handle myself. I can—”

She put her hand on his arm. He looked down to see his hands were shaking. “Steve.” He swallowed and nodded. “James is on his way,” she added, and then she went through the doors.

He stood rooted in the spot, vaguely aware he kind of smelled, as Wanda had been so overwhelmed by everyone's fear that she'd puked on his feet. But he couldn’t move. He stood there until Amanda came back out, which took forever and only a few minutes.

“He’s out. Sharon’s fine. Two pounds, nine ounces, breathing on his own, which is really good. The NICU team is working on him. There was a knot in his cord.”

“Two pounds,” Steve whispered, feeling sick. 

“Two and a _half_ pounds,” Amanda said. “That’s a good size at this gestation. But they are going to need to take him to Syracuse. You should go with him.” He opened his mouth, and she added, “I’ll take care of Sharon. She’d want you to go with him.”

His eyes stung, and he rubbed them. “Can I see her?”

“She’s being taken to recovery to wake up. They’d let you in as soon as she is, but you should go with the baby,” she repeated. She pointed over his shoulder and said, “He’ll drive you.” Only then did Steve realize Bucky was standing behind him.

He glanced over at his friend, and all he could muster was, “Hi.”

Bucky stepped forward and wrapped him in a tight hug. "I gotcha."

"He's two and a half pounds," Steve said. It was a 25% difference, that half.

"If Amanda says that's good, then it's good. Amanda doesn't sugar coat."

"No. She doesn't." He straightened and rubbed his eyes again. The doors opened again, nearly hitting them. Out rolled a flurry of people pushing a large piece of equipment with a clear plastic box on the top. He thought he caught a glimpse of baby. 

The nurse to the rear of the cart called out, "Come on, Dad."

_Dad._

He mustered Captain America, squared his shoulders, and jogged after her.

Bucky drove him, following the ambulance with his son in it. He'd brought spare clothes—a whole overnight kit, which was appreciated but disheartening—and Steve was able to change his pants, socks and shoes on the way up.

At the hospital there was more waiting. Bucky stood when he stood and sat when he sat but didn't speak much. Steve wasn't up for chit chat.

Finally, a nurse came out - she might have been the one who called him Dad - and said, "Okay. You can come back and see him. If you're up for it, we might try some kangaroo care."

He glanced at Bucky, who waved him on, and then followed her through a set of badge-access doors. She pointed to a sink near the door. "Every time you come in the door, you scrub in. _Every_ time."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied. The NICU itself was a series of quasi-rooms in a circle around the nurse's station. The fourth wall of each room was partial, and glass. Some rooms contained more than one baby, but there was a single isolette in the room she took Steve to. A curtain provided a dose of privacy.

The baby was so tiny, hooked up to tubes and wires everywhere, in nothing but a diaper that was both impossibly little and way too big for him. He had no idea what he was supposed to say, or think, or feel, so he just put his head against the plastic. There was a little tag beside his hand that had _Rogers, Baby Boy_ printed on it. "His name is Joseph," Steve said.

The nurse nodded. "We'll change it," she said. She checked some things on the isolette, then nodded again. "Okay, he's still looking good. Why don't we do a little skin-to-skin if you're comfortable with it."

"I—okay. Yes." He managed to get himself to offer her a smile. "I'm Steve."

She blinked a moment and he watched her soften a little. "I'm Julie. Sorry. I'll be your nurse here until seven. That's when shifts change over, seven and eleven. If you have questions or need anything ask your nurse, we're here to help. Skin-to-skin or kangaroo care helps preemies regulate their heartbeat and respiration. Your son—Joseph—is breathing really well on his own, and we want to keep that going. I'll have you sit in that chair-" She pointed. "And have you take your shirt off. We'll put Joseph on your chest, over your heartbeat, and bundle you up with warm blankets. You'll have to be careful of the wires, but you can hold him as long as you want. Make sense?"

"Yes," he said. He sat, and pulled his sweatshirt and then undershirt off. "My metabolism runs very hot, my core body temp is usually around a hundred."

"That's good," Julie told him, opening Joseph's little pod. "I'm still going to tuck some towels up around you, because the warmer the better." She carefully lifted Joseph out of the isolette and he squawked, making her laugh. "Oh, somebody's got attitude. We like that around here."

"Can't imagine where he'd get that." The squawk seemed to be morphing into a very tiny cry, until she placed him on Steve's chest. The squeaking noises stopped and the baby took a deep breath and nuzzled closer. The nurse carefully arranged the wires, and Steve cupped his tiny body in his hands. They covered him entirely.

Julie pulled a couple of blankets out of a warmer and covered Joseph with them, tucking them up around Steve's sides so he and the baby were in a little cocoon of heat. She tucked a little cap over Joseph's head and tucked two fingers into the cocoon and nodded. "Good. This is his monitor," she told Steve. "All his numbers are good. If any of these change I'll be in in a snap, but I that's not likely. I'll give you some privacy with him, then once we get some milk we'll try to get a little bit into his feeding tube. Do you need anything right now?"

"No," he said. "But thank you." She left, and he looked back down at his son, who had closed his eyes and snuggled in. "Hi, Joey," he whispered. "Welcome to the outside."

He lost track of how long he was there. He might even have doze a little himself once he discovered the chair reclined. Julie came in a couple times to change out the blankets and check the monitors. She assured him once again the baby was doing fine and left them.

The next time the curtain stirred he looked up to see Amanda peeking around. "Hello. How is my littlest patient?"

"Sleeping, I think. How's Sharon?"

"Good. She woke up long enough to pump a bit, which I drove up for Joseph. We'll be ferrying milk for a few days, until I can get her released and up here." She came farther into the room to peer at Joseph, then look at his file. "Got any questions no one's answered?"

He looked up at her. "How close did I come to losing them?"

It didn't even phase her. "Sharon was in minimal danger, other than the normal emergency surgery complications. Joseph would likely have been dead by morning if Wanda hadn't . . . heard him."

He had to close his eyes a moment, and nodded. "And current prognosis?"

"Everything on this chart indicates very positive. I really cannot express how good it is that he's breathing on his own." She glanced over and gave him a smile. "Your son has excellent lungs."

He didn't know where the tears came from, but he felt them burn his eyes and slide down his cheeks. He ducked his head as best he could, but his hands were busy holding the baby. "Thank Sharon for that."

Amanda stepped over to him, stood next to the chair and hugged his head again her stomach, rubbing his hair. He could probably count on his fingers the number of times Amanda had touched him in a non-medical context. Bucky was pretty much the only person that touched her with any regularity. "There's gonna be a lot of milestones for him to hit before he's out of the woods. Eating on his own, regulating his temperature. We're gonna want to see steady weight gain. But he's off to a good start. For perspective, the smallest preemie to survive was just half a pound."

"But he could be sick? Asthma and. . .I mean, you said this is _why_ I was like I was."

"He could," she conceded. "He could also need glasses or be anemic. Or he could leave the hospital in a month and never have another serious problem. There is quite literally no way to know that right now. And I am a very good doctor, as you know. But I will tell you that asthma in the 2020s is not going to be like asthma in the 1920s. You understand that, right?"

"Intellectually, yes." Emotionally was harder. He looked up at her. "Who's with Sharon?"

"She was sleeping when I left but Nat was on her way to sit with her. She insisted I come check on you two and bring the milk."

"You should take some pictures and send them to her. She didn't get to see him."

"I will do that," she said. "And then I'm going to take a shift here and you and James are going to go find some food."

Steve started shaking his head before she could finish the sentence, so she fixed him with her Doctor Look. He _was_ starving. "Okay."

"Good." She pulled out her phone and took pictures of him holding the baby. Then the peeled away the blanket a bit so she could get Joseph's face. Then she took the baby from him. "Go on. He'll get some food and tests and when you're back he'll be ready for more cuddles." He started to put his shirt on and she added, "And a full meal. Don't rush through a sandwich at Starbucks because you want to get back here. You need several thousand calories. Get a milkshake."

He was inadvertently standing out of the curtain, and to his left there were three nurses who'd stopped their conversation to stare at him. When he turned they looked embarrassed and quickly disbursed. He felt himself blushing and yanked his shirt down. 

"Well you've made their days," Amanda said with a smile.

"Shirtless Captain America is a novel job perk, I'll give you that." 

"Fortunately, I've been inoculated by shirtless Winter Soldier and am immune." She pointed down the hall. "Go. Feast. I will be here when you get back."

Bucky was outside the NICU waiting for him. Steve put his hands on his hips. "You haven't been out here all this time, have you?"

He glanced around. "Where else would I go?"

"Home? You don't have to. . ." He didn't even finish the sentence. After all, how many hours had he sat in a waiting room when Edie was born? "Thank you. We have orders to eat."

"Good. I'm starving and there's a steak house a couple blocks from here."

Meat would do him good.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No posting schedule to speak of on this one. Probably gonna average once a week until we finish up the last chapter.

The first glimpse Sharon got of her baby was on a tiny phone screen. She was woozy with all the medication and painkillers, and it was hard to move. But she knew when she hear the phone chime that it had to be her pictures, and she wanted to see her son. He was red skinned and his face looked kind of pinched and he had a vague resemblance to Gollum. But he was the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world.

Amanda's message also assured her that she'd sent Steve to go eat something and that Joseph was doing well. It was enough reassurance for her to drift off again as the surgery drugs worked their way out of her system.

Nat had been there when she fell asleep, but when she woke up, Darcy was there instead, watching some sort of talk show about 'Who's The Babydaddy?'

"Darcy. Really?"

She looked over and grinned. "You're awake! I knew it was possible to annoy someone awake."

"I was enjoying sleeping."

"You looked like you were. You were drooling. _But_ the nurses told us that you have to wake up every couple of hours to use that thing." She pointed at the industrial-grade breast pump on a pole next to Sharon's bed. "The nurse was trying to explain that I could let you sleep and instead just milk you like a cow. I don't know if she thought we were a lesbian couple, or just has a really poor sense of normal personal boundaries."

"Maybe she had a good read of your personality." Sharon found the button to raise the head of the bed, sitting her up. Her mouth was dry - apparently the drooling was not embellishment. Darcy handed her an enormous jug of water with a bendy straw before she could even ask for a drink.  
 And that was why Darcy was a good friend.

"Nat left. The drooling was too real."

"I will take pride in having found the Black Widow's gross out factor." Sharon sucked down some more water. "Okay. Let's get to milking."

Darcy helped her get the thing hooked up and pumping away. She had to hold them in place, though the nurse had commented there was a thing that would make it hands-free. Sharon hadn't looked into it much, as her pump was one of the many things coming from the secret Stark Baby Gear Laboratories. None of it was ready yet. Not that Joseph would be coming home any time soon.

"Pepper said she's going to unearth hers and send it over. Also, in the morning Cal is going up to Syracuse with one of the portable video conferencing units so can hopefully see some action."

Sharon carefully consolidated the two bottles of milk she'd managed to produce and screwed a lid on before ringing for a nurse. "That would be great. I haven't seen him in person yet. Or Steve, for that matter."

"Amanda says the person she has to argue with in order to move you up there won't be in until the morning."

Thank God for Amanda. This would have gone so much worse without her to help. "I should get her a very nice Christmas gift."

"She also said that Steve wants to call you, but that you actually have to call or text Bucky, so he can go get him, because they won't let phones in the unit."

Sharon nodded. "I think I'd like to eat something. Then I'll be up for conversation."

"The nurse said you had to fart first." Darcy paused. "I think she had a fancier way of saying it."

She sighed. "I can have Jello."

"Then I will venture forth and not return until I have procured Jello."

"Thank you. You are a goddess among women."

Once the nurse came and collected the milk, and Darcy returned with not just Jello, but chicken broth as well, she felt better enough to call her husband. He was not being dosed with narcotics, and he was, well, _him_ , so she worried.

Bucky sounded very happy to hear from her. After a few pleasantries, he promised Steve would call her back promptly and they hung up. Less than five minutes later, her phone started playing Battle Hymn of the Republic and she answered it. “Hi, honey."

"Sharon. Are you all right? How are you feeling?"

Like her stomach had been cut open and her pregnancy abruptly ended after about an hour of stark terror. But that was probably not the helpful answer. "I'm all right. I'm kinda drugged up, but Darcy got me Jello and broth and it helped. The nurses say my milk production is good for being solely pump and they want me to do it every two hours to keep it up."

"They gave me a scary lecture on why breastmilk is important. I told them I'd alert them when I started to lactate."

She laughed and groaned a little when it hurt. "Well, I seem to be doing sufficient work you won't have to step in."

"They have me take my shirt off and put him on my chest, and his vital signs improve. He fits in my hand, but he's so beautiful."

Her heart panged and she fought back tears. "Cal's going to come up tomorrow and set up a video chat thing. It'll have to do until Amanda can strong arm them into moving me up."

"You want me to come down there tonight?" he asked quietly.

She did, very much. She missed him, and she thought seeing Steve would help some of the pain of not seeing the baby. But she sighed and said, "No. Not if Joey needs you more."

His pause was long. Clearly, he wanted to see her, too. "Let me talk to Amanda. She took a shift so I could eat."

"Okay." Seriously. Really nice Christmas gift.

"I love you," he told her.

"I love you back." She took a deep breath. "Cuddle him for me."

"I will. I promise." 

The nurse came back in has she hung up, to check her vitals, and change her dressings. So far, she hadn't dared look at it. The glimpse she got, of a long red wound dotted with staples, was plenty. Those would have to come out in a couple of days. It was going to be a long time before she could run five miles in the woods again. She was currently dreading any attempt at going to the bathroom.

They dosed her with painkillers, and she slept for a bit. When she woke again, Darcy and Nat seemed to be changing shifts. "I can hang out in the hall if you want some privacy, or just sit quietly. But I have order from Doc not to leave you alone until you're allowed to walk. Because she thinks you'll try anyway." _Amanda_ was their friend. _Doc_ gave orders that people followed.

"You can stay. I don't think I'm very good company, but I don't like being alone."

Nat folded herself gracefully into one of the guest chairs. "I got shot once, and I was terrible company. Horrible. I'm pretty sure the nurses thought Clint was trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship."

Sharon chuckled and winced, pressing a hand over her belly.

"Hold a pillow over it," Nat said. "When you laugh or cough. It helps. You feel less like you're splitting open."

"I suppose getting gut shot would have been good practice for this."

Nat tugged up her shirt to show Sharon the scar. "I've been shot two other times, but this was absolutely the worst. I was out of commission a long time."

The flat, pink scar gave Sharon hope that one day her nether regions would be slightly less of a horror show. "That was the stolen jet incident, wasn't it?"

"Indeed. Some of us earn our legends." She paused. "If I had one piece of advice, it would be to let people fuss. It's advice I'd have trouble taking. But I'm giving it anyway."

It was advice Sharon also had trouble with, generally speaking. "I suppose it'll be easier since I feel like hell."

Before Nat could answer, there was a tap on the door, and Steve stepped inside.

Something like relief flooded her, though he wasn't the one she'd been worried about. Maybe it was closer to joy, easing some of her aches and pains. She reached out to him with both arms. Nat retreated and he sat on the bed, reaching to wrap her in his arms. He held her gingerly, and kissed the crown of her head.

"Hi," she said softly, a little embarrassed at how choked up she was.

He rubbed her back, his touch and his scent and his solid chest feeling safe and soothing. "Hey," he replied.

"That was scary."

He took a shuddery breath. "Yeah. It was." Part of what made her feel better was that he _knew_. The rest of them really didn't. The only person feeling anything like she was was Steve.

She leaned back and rested her forehead on his. "He's still good?"

"He is." He sniffled and wiped his eyes, and then dug out his phone. "Here, I brought more pictures." He deftly shifted them so she was tucked next to him and they could both look at the screen. She leaned on his chest and listened to his heart beat as he scrolled through them. Joseph from every angle. Eyes closed and a few squinted open. Even a couple of him settled on Amanda's chest, which caused a bittersweet pang of envy and gratitude that she'd gotten to sit with him before Sharon had.

When he'd reached the end of the pictures he put the phone down and Sharon closed her eyes. "We're very lucky," she said. "We have good friends."

"And we have a beautiful son." She could hear the smile in his voice, despite everything. "We're a family."

She sighed softly in contentment and nodded. "Yes, we are."

"I wanted to stay," he said. "When you were in surgery, and then I wanted to stay until you woke up. Amanda made me go."

"I know. I was glad you went with him, so he wasn't alone. I wasn't really cogent when I woke up the first time, anyway. And she was here." Amanda had also been the last thing she'd seen before going under for surgery. Her friend had crouched low and whispered reassurances as the other doctors had rushed around. It had kept Sharon from panicking. "I think you'll be splitting your time for the next couple days."

"I don't understand why they can't just transfer you over there. It's a hospital. I should call someone, I'm Captain Fucking America."

"I did just have abdominal surgery," she pointed out. "They probably want to wait and make sure there's no problems. They haven't even let me eat yet. Nor have I tried hobbling to the bathroom."

"Do you need help with that?" he asked.

Someday she'd have dignity again. "Actually, while you're here it might be a good time to try it."

"I'm happy to carry you, but as I remember from waking after my coma, I think they recommend walking."

"Yeah, that want me to get moving." She called for the nurse to help like she'd been told. The labor and delivery nurses had all been very nice and friendly and this one was no exception. She hovered to one side while Steve helped Sharon ease out of bed.  
 She'd been braced for extreme pain and was pleasantly surprised to find that, while her abs ached and her incision stung sharply, it was all manageable. She gripped Steve's arm as she shuffled towards the en suite.

"You know, after the coma I ended up having to have a very uncomfortable catheter for longer than I needed because I was too embarrassed to discuss those sorts of bodily functions with Amanda."

"Ohhh, don't make me laugh when I'm upright."

"Sorry," he said, but it was nice to see his smile. "The point was, we shouldn't be embarrassed around each other. We're parents now. We don't have the luxury."

"I love you, honey, and I appreciate the thought. But I'd still like a door between us when I pee."

At the bathroom door, the nurse reached around her to pat Steve's arm. "We've got this." He kissed his temple and mercifully stepped back. 

"They think they're being helpful, bless them," the nurse said as she helped Sharon do her business. "Husbands. It's good. Better involved than not, generally speaking. But unless you've had abdominal surgery or a baby, you just don't understand what's involved. Not to mention the blood. I don't care if he is the greatest soldier in history, when it's your wife's blood it's different."

Sharon grinned. She liked this nurse. "You boss him around if you think he's getting too fussy," she told her. "He'll take it better from you."

"Different couples do have different boundaries. I've had patients who have their husbands in here coaching them like it’s labor, and that's what they want."

"I'm sure he would if I wanted it. Currently I find the urge to maintain a little dignity."

"That's not a bad thing. It's important to take care of yourself." She helped Sharon up. "Now how about we get you some food?"

"That sounds phenomenal."

Steve was waiting to help her back to bed, and once she was tucked in, he swung the bed tray around and picked up a paper bag she hadn't seen him come in with. He began placing plastic containers on the tray. He'd brought her sushi.

She stared a moment, then gazed up at him in what must have been and absolutely besotted expression. "I love you so much."

He grinned proudly. "It's from Tatsu in Manhattan. Compliments of our favorite show-off."

"I am awfully fond of him." He handed her chopsticks and started opening containers for her to sample.

"I love you, too," he said. "By the way."

She smiled and reached out to squeeze his hand. "Thank you."

"You've got all the hard stuff. I'm just along for the ride."

"I think that's plenty."

"I was going to run by the house to have a shower and change and feed the cat. I thought I could get you some things. It's not like we had the bag packed."

"That would be nice. I think I'll stay in hospital gowns for now. But a cardigan or flannel and some comfy socks would help. And my computer and tablet."

"I'll bring toiletries, too. I assume they will let you shower at some point." She trusted Steve to pack a bag for her. Tactical things were his forte, and it would give him a way to feel useful.

"I should hope so." She dug into her sashimi, humming with pleasure at the first bite.

After she'd eaten a bit, he said, "I'm going to go back up to Syracuse, they said I could spend the night in his room."

Well, it had been nice while it lasted. She swallowed her current bite of food and nodded. "That's good. I like that he's not alone."

"I wish I could split myself in half," he said, his voice wistful.

"Don't say that in front of Tony or Doc. We don't need some sort of bizarre cloning incident."

That made him laugh. "You always get me out of my head."

"It's why we work so well." She leaned back against her pillows and sipped some tea. "We should ask the nurses if you can ferry milk. I'm due to pump again."

He nodded. "They told me I should come back with what you had. Someone is supposed to put it in a cooler."

"Good." This, at least, she could do. Keep Joseph full and healthy, help him grow.

Steve moved the tray out of the way and helped her set up the pump. It came up quickly, causing a funny, tickly sensation inside. "This is very weird."

She could see him watching the pump, and couldn't decide where that fell on the 'dignity' spectrum. "I think it's neat," he said.

"Moo," she replied, with a smile. "I'm told that if I'm doing this well on the pump once he starts sucking I'll be a force to be reckoned with."

"I think it's cool you make food for him."

As superpowers went, it was sort of neat. "Supposedly it changes flavor based on what I eat."

He glanced at the dinner remnants. "Get that taste for wasabi in early, I guess."

"Hey, a taste for spicy food is a good thing."

When she was done, she called the nurse, and a cooler was packed for him. The bottles were so tiny, but Joseph was tiny, so everyone was happy with it. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'll call you once I'm up there."

"Thank you. Drive safe."


	3. Chapter 3

Barnabas met Steve at the door, as excited to see him as he’d ever been in the entire history of their relationship. He let Steve pick him up, even, and he put his face in the soft orange fur for a minute. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, and Barnabas purred quietly. “She’s fine,” he told the cat. “She’ll be home before you know it. With the Small Invader.” 

That quickly became more affection than Barnabas knew what to do with, so he wiggled to get down and sprinted off.

Steve gave him a whole can of wet food, refilled his kibble and water bowls, and stashed the milk in their fridge, before going upstairs to take a hot shower. Afterwards he began packing a bag for Sharon, and was gripped with indecision. She'd said a cardigan, but all of the ones he found had labels that said dry-clean-only, which didn't seem like a good idea given the circumstances. Though they seemed to be wool, so perhaps the tags were because modern society had forgotten you could wash wool.

Sharon would call him an old fogey for complaining about that.

He went to pack the socks, and went back to ponder her sweaters. Maybe a sweatshirt? But that seemed like a pain with the pump thing. He needed a woman's opinion. Someone who knew something about babies. "FRIDAY, is Violet home?"

"Yes, Captain. Should I tell you you need her or will you be going to visit?"

"Can you just patch me through?"

"Of course. Connecting." 

There was a pause, then Violet's voice came over the intercom. "Steve? How is everyone?"

"Good. I'm trying to pack a bag for Sharon. She wants a cardigan and all of hers are nice. Also is there anything I should have that I'm not thinking of?"

There was a pause as she thought. "She just wants something warm that she can pump around. Do you have any button up shirts you're willing to sacrifice to the cause? She'll probably find that comforting. Warm socks. Comfort food or snacks. Entertainment."

"She asked for her laptop and tablet." He fished a flannel shirt she liked to steal out of his closet. It would do.

"It gets boring and your sleep cycle gets out of whack. I assume she's pumping for the baby, it's nice to have something to watch while it works. This early it can take quite a while to get a significant amount."

"She seemed to be good." He sat on the foot of the bed. "I just want. . . to be helpful."

Her voice turned sympathetic and maternal. "I know. And I know it's hard to be on the outside. But don't overdo it. Bring what she asked for. IF she thinks of other things one of us can ferry it over."

She was right. He shouldn't over fuss. He scrubbed his face with his hands. "Got it. Thanks, Violet."

"Anytime." She paused. "Steve. Do _you_ need anything?"

_Asgardian Mead._ He thought it, but he didn't say it. "Someone to talk me out of staging a jailbreak and taking Sharon up to Syracuse."

She chuckled. "Let Amanda worry about that. She's at least as intimidating as you, plus she speaks both doctor and hospital bureaucrat. Bring Sharon her stuff, cuddle your little guy and wait it out. This too shall pass."

"This just isn't how it's supposed to be." He had no idea why talking to the ceiling was easier than talking to someone face-to-face, but it was. It felt a little bit like going to confession when he was a kid. It was better than you couldn't see the priest.

"I know. It's awful. And it will be awful for a while, probably until all three of you are happy and healthy and home again. But it will happen."

He needed to get himself together. "Yeah. Well. Thank you. I'm going to take these things over to the hospital."

"All right. Oh, let me meet you at the car really quick. I have some cookies for Sharon."

"Okay. Give me five minutes."

When he got out to the car Violet was already crossing the yard towards him. She had a little paper bag in one hand and what appeared to be a folding chair tucked under the other arm. He tossed Sharon's bag into the back of the SUV.

Violet reached him and handed him the bag. "Make sure she knows they're lactation cookies. There's yeast to help the milk come in, but she should only eat one or two a day or she'll regret it."

He nodded and took the bag. Before he could ask about the chair, she unfolded it, climbed on top of it and turned to hug him tightly around the neck. "And this is for you."

Steve wrapped his arms around her tight. "Everybody's hugging me today."

"Because you need them and you'd never ask for them and we want to remind you we're here and you need to take care of yourself." She squeezed him harder. "Everyone needs a mom hug once in a while. Especially the residents of this little town."

He pressed his face into her shoulder and mumbled, "Thank you."

She stroked his hair in a way that actually was sort of reminiscent of his mother. "I am always available for hugs and cookies," she told him sincerely.

"Sharon will probably need some of that."

"The wives are working up a visiting schedule as soon as she's up for it."

"I'll let her know," he said. Violet climbed off the chair, and he got into the SUV to drive things over to the hospital. Sharon was sleeping when he got there, but made contented noises when he bent to kiss her cheek. He wanted to stay here, but he wanted to go be with the baby. It was impossible.

He watched her sleep another moment, decided she needed ever moment of peace she could, and left, making sure the bag was within easy reach when she woke.

Amanda was in the chair in the NICU when he got there, Joey tucked between her breasts, reading something on her phone. "I tried to talk James into taking a turn," she said when Steve arrived. "He runs as hot as you so. But he went shy on me."

"I don't think being shirtless is what that was about," Steve said. When Wanda was showing them their worst fears, Bucky had seen himself hurting Edie with his metal arm. Even though he had a new, better metal arm now, Steve knew the nightmare still dogged him. 

She gave him a look that indicated she knew that perfectly well but wasn't going to say it out loud. "I see you've brought more milk, which is good because the little private is a hungry little guy."

He thought about the look on Sharon's face when she'd seen the pictures of Amanda holding Joey. "I need you to get her up here."

Tucking he phone away she nodded. "The people I need to yell at will be on shift in the morning. However there are some sneaky things I can try. Let me hand him off and I'll get on it."

"Thank you," he said, and she gave him a look that said she could tell where his mind was. People who didn't know him had an odd tendency to assume he was a man who liked to follow the rules—what in his fairly famous life story had given them that impression he couldn't fathom—but Amanda could see right through him. Or at least hear rebellion in his voice.

"I know all both of you want is for her to be up here with Joseph," she said as they swapped positions so Steve could hold the baby. He noticed she'd switched to Doc voice. It was funny how many of them had that ability. "I'm a mother, I understand. But I want you to remember that Sharon had emergency abdominal surgery today. There are eight metal staples in her stomach. Technically, we could discharge her against medical advice and drive her up here ourselves. But it's very difficult to storm triumphantly out of a hospital when you can barely hobble to the bathroom. So, you are going to let me fill out the paperwork and lean on the right people to get her transferred here as a patient. She'll get a room on this floor and come down in a wheel chair and hold him all she wants. You are not going to stage a jail break with James and Sam. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am." His voice sounded more petulant than he wanted it to, which almost certainly proved her right. "I'd have carried her," he added. "And brought a jet."

"I was going to say 'have Hulk break down a wall' but Bruce respects hospitals too much."

He sighed. "She hasn't even seen him. Six or seven other people have held him, and she hasn't even touched him." He looked up at Amanda. "If she's not well enough to transfer, I understand. But I get the sense this is more a hold up borne of paperwork and policy." Bureaucracy was not high on the list of things Steve had a lot of patience for.

"It is," she conceded. "But it's paperwork that has to be done. I will do everything I can tonight. In the morning I'll go employ resting bitchface on the people I have to in Ithaca and by this time tomorrow she should be sitting where you are. I'm on it. Delegate to your medic and trust me."

"All right. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Have a good night, try to get some rest. James or I will be by in the morning to make you eat."

She left, and then Steve was alone with his son on his chest. When Joey was alone in his isolette, his heart rate and oxygen saturation had a tendency to dip, but were very steady during skin to skin. The nurses also told Steve that if he was going to sleep, he had to put the baby back in said isolette.

The serum had reduced the amount of sleep he needed, and enhanced his ability to do without. During the war he'd occasionally gone days without sleeping and still been able to fight. So, awake he stayed.

The nurse came in throughout the night to check on Joey and feed him through his tube. She brought Steve water without asking and frowned a but at his staying up all night. 

Around dawn, she came in and said she wanted to weigh him, before she went off shift. Steve hovered over the scale as she set it up. "Now, if he's down a little bit I don't want you to worry," she told him. "All babies lose a little bit the first day or two from water weight. We just want to track it to make sure it's not significant."

She settled him on the scale and smiled. "Well, two pounds ten ounces. That's what we like to see." She changed Joey's diaper with a few practiced motions, then handed him back to Steve. "He's a little fighter."

"I hope so," Steve replied.

"Well, he is your son." She filled out the file and tucked it back into its slot. "I'm off. Your new nurse will be in soon for her morning rounds."

Steve didn't have any faith in his genes, but God knew fighting was in his blood. "Thanks, Julie."

Bucky arrived an hour later. "I brought food. It's in the lobby. Go eat, I'll hover."

Protesting he wasn't hungry would be both a lie, and factually untrue. "I have to wait for the new nurse, I'm not allowed to move him."

He nodded, bending to peer over Steve's shoulder at the baby. "Amanda's in Ithaca doing her thing. Said she'd call when she had a transfer time for Sharon."

He sighed. "Your wife is a wonderful woman."

Bucky grinned. "She was in hardass mode all morning. It was hot."

The curtain moved, and the new nurse stepped in. "Good morning, I'm Megan, and I'll be Joseph's nurse today." She said it in a slight rush, like she was nervous. 

"Steve Rogers," he said, like she didn't know who he was. The entire hospital probably knew that Captain America was here and his baby was a patient. He still liked introducing himself. He tipped his head towards Bucky. "That's James Barnes."

He inclined his head. "Ma'am."

She blushed at that and came over. "Julie said he was doing well, even put on a little weight. Would you like me to tuck him in so you can eat? Someone said Mr. Barnes brought you food."

"Its' like a conspiracy," Steve muttered, but he let her take the baby. 

"Part of taking care of the baby is keeping the mom and dad healthy," the nurse told him.

He left reluctantly, but he did go. If only because not going would imply he didn't think Bucky could look after his son, and that wasn't true. There was a bagel with bacon, egg and cheese on it waiting for him in the little waiting room outside the NICU. It even had ketchup. Bucky sure knew him. 

He dug out his phone while he ate, scrolling through the many congratulatory texts he'd gotten—clearly everyone had been told. Also, someone had apparently already leaked it to the press. He wondered who was dealing with that PR fun. Probably Nat. It was usually her or Sharon. Pepper tried to stay out of Avengers matters and focus solely on Stark issues. They'd tried to let Darcy do a press conference once and she'd managed to sarcastically confirm that Tony was building a functional Death Star. She had a gag order every since.

Well, as long as the vultures stayed outside the hospital he could deal with it. 

He texted Sharon, _You up?_

_I am. Thank you for the shirt._

He called her because he wanted to hear her voice. "He had a good night."

She sighed softly. "That's excellent news. I have a lot of milk for him, an Darcy's bringing Pepper's old pump. I texted Wanda to come visit me. And Amanda poked her head in on her way to yell at whomever she needs to yell at. She was in a pinstripes slacks and a bun, I feel like Bucky might get naughty librarian sex later."

"He was telling me how hot she was. He brought me food and made me eat it."

"He's a very good friend." She sighed again. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too." He paused. "Did you or someone happen to call your family? Because it's on the news."

"Nat did, then I talked to them last night. Mom wanted to come up but I told her to wait a couple days, at least until Joey and I were at the same hospital. I wasn't up for too much fuss all at once."

"I can gatekeep if you need me to."

"I think you have enough on your plate," she said gently.

"Hey, nobody cut a baby out of my abdomen yesterday."

"Christ, that was only yesterday."

"I love you. I haven't told you yet today."

He could hear the smile in her voice. "I love you, too. I'm looking forward to seeing you later. And meeting my former passenger."

"We'll be here waiting for you." He crumpled up his bag and threw it in the trash. "I should get back in there."

"Okay. Take it easy and I'll hopefully see you soon."


	4. Chapter 4

Sharon's morning visit with Wanda was very emotional. Wanda was the one who had noticed the baby was in distress, and she had honestly saved his life. It was the sort of thing Sharon didn't think you could ever really repay.

She used Pepper's breast pump and was amazed at how comfortable and productive it was. And she didn't have to hold it. You could probably sell it easily if it weren't so weird looking.

Not long after, there was a knock on her door an an orderly stuck his head in. "Mrs. Rogers? I'm here to get you for transport."

Seriously, she was getting Amanda something from Cartier. "I will do whatever is needed to help with that."

"I'll help you into the wheelchair, get your things, and we'll be off."

It was over an hour's ride by ambulance, and the bumps on the road were utterly awful. She just closed her eyes and reminded herself that she was going to see her baby soon.

When they got to Syracuse there was some hurry up and wait once they got to labor and delivery. She found herself stuck in reception while they dithered about what room to put her in. She could _see_ the sign for the NICU and had to fight the desire to just roll over. Instead she texted Amanda.

She strode through the elevator doors two minutes later, still in her buttoned up gear and stepped behind her wheelchair. "Head of L&D cleared her for a private room, away from the elevators since she's a publicity risk. You're also to put my name on the room chart so it's harder to find. I am going to take her to see her son. If you don't have her a room assignment by the time I'm back out I'll be very put out."

And that was why she stood toe to toe with Tony Stark and Captain America.

"That was awesome," Sharon whispered as they rolled towards the NICU door. "I will be sure to tell Bucky how sexy you are."

"He already knows."

They stopped to wash their hands, and then Amanda rolled her through the bay to one of the little pods. The sign by the half-closed curtain said "Rogers" and someone had stuck a sticker of Steve's shield on the little cardboard tag. She was rolled around the curtain and saw Steve stretched in a recliner, blankets swathed over his chest.

"I brought a visitor," Amanda said in a stage whisper.

Steve opened his eyes, and she could see his whole face change. He seemed to be stuck somewhere between a grin and tears. "Hi," he said, and his voice managed to catch on the single syllable.

Oh, how she wanted to lurch out of her chair and climb in his lap. She settled for having Amanda wheel her as close as possible so she could lean over onto his shoulder. "Hi," she replied.

She could see the tiny head on his chest, and he twitched the blankets back so she could see better. He had a very thin tube running into his nose, for food, and a thicker one beneath it for oxygen. He was red and wrinkly and even more beautiful in person. "Look what we made," Steve said.

"Well, hello there." She reached down and stroked a fingertip along his cheek and over the curve of his ear. "You are the handsomest thing I've ever seen."

He stirred, and opened one eye at her. They looked dark blue, but that would likely change. "The nurses told me any warm body helps with this, but we're all a poor substitute for Mommy."

"I can help you move him over," Amanda offered. "Then I think I'll go glare at the nurses till your stuff is put away and go home to my own baby."

Very, very carefully, they transferred her from the wheelchair to the recliner, and then the baby to her. He was so very little. For the first time in almost 24 hours, she had her baby back. Relief and joy and probably a potent cocktail of hormones flooded her and she leaned back with a sigh. Joey buried his face in her sternum and yawned, eyes closing again.

Amanda was watching his monitors and smiled after a moment. "Look at all those steady numbers. Nothing like mommy cuddles."

Steve stroked her hair. "Feel better?"

"Words can't describe. I'm never putting him down."

"He'd probably be very happy about that. Can't say for the nurses, though."

"I'll sic Amanda on them."

"He's gaining weight, they're very happy. Everything so far is as great as can be. They told me to expect to be here until his due date."

She looked up at Amanda. "Really?"

The doctor lifted a shoulder. "I'm not a preemie specialist, but I've been reading up. Due date is the general rule of thumb. It's not something you want rush. However, it's more a set of milestones and check boxes. Especially considering he'll be coming home to a doctor next door and advanced medical equipment. That could be off a week. I think worrying about timelines will drive you both crazy, though."

That was probably true. The important thing was that Joey for strong and healthy. He'd come home when the doctors thought he was ready. She sighed and kissed his head. "Thank you, Amanda. For everything."

"It was my pleasure. Do you need anything else before I go?"

She heard contentment in Steve's sigh. "Right now, I think we have everything we need."

Amanda nodded. "Good. Call if that changes. In the meantime, congratulations and I'll check in this evening."

They chorused goodbyes and she left and then it was just the three of them. Their little family.

"I think he's kind of perfect," Steve said. "Tubes and wires and all."

"Of course he is, he's ours." She rested her head on Steve's. "He'll be just fine."

He kissed her temple, and put his hand over hers on the baby's back. "He will now that you're here."

From there on, her days became revolved around sitting in that chair, either holding the baby or pumping milk. She went back to her room at night—they wanted her to sleep in a real bed—and Steve slept overnight on the fold out in their NICU pod, so someone was always with him. Originally, they'd told her standard procedure was she would be discharged at 4 days, but could stay longer if her insurance would pay for it. Her insurance, as it turned out, was 'send a bill to Tony Stark', so she could have stayed as long as she wanted. But taking up a private room on the clearly crowded L&D floor when she didn't need to made her feel like one of those entitled celebrities.

"So we have a few options," Steve told her, sounding very Cap. He liked his tactical plans. "We can either stay in a hotel in Syracuse, or we can stay at home and drive back and forth. If we did want to go home, Tony's promised use of a quinjet if we need to get up here quickly, and the hospital has agreed to let us land on the helicopter pad as long as it doesn't sit. We could also stay in a hotel until your driving restrictions are lifted, and then commute from home."

She sighed. She really wanted to go home. But their house had a lot of stairs and sitting in the car on the sometimes less that smooth roads was painful and exhausting. "Maybe a hotel for a few days," she said, hating that she sounded unsure. "And if I really get homesick we can go back."

He looked up at her. "What if it's a really nice hotel?"

"That would probably improve the chances of an extended stay." Joseph, who had been contentedly lounging on her left breast, stirred and started rubbing his face against her. Sharon looked down. "I don't care what they say, he's rooting."

"They promised we could try mouth feeds next week. Well, that one doctor did. The other one said the week after."

"Hmph." There was a lot of that here. Optimistic doctors versus by-the-book ones. Strict nurses and relaxed ones. She wished Amanda could just take over, but she wasn't a NICU specialist. Though Sharon got the impression she'd spent the last week becoming one as quickly as possible. "If he wiggles his way down to nipple I'm letting him go for it."

Steve kissed the top of her head. "I'm going to go call Darcy about hotel arrangements."

She opened her mouth to request a large bathtub, then remembered she wasn't allowed to take baths till her bleeding had stopped and her incision healed. So she just smiled and nodded. When Steve had left, she looked back down at Joey. "This sucks, kid."

He did not reply. Julie the nurse came around the curtain. "Good morning."

Mustering up a smile again, she replied, "Hi. He's active this morning."

"He's been doing very well. Kangaroo care has a lot of proven benefits, and you two are able to do it much more than most." She changed a bag on the IV pole. "Chalk that up to the benefits of a parent with superpowers, I guess." She smiled at Sharon. "We normals need sleep."

Sharon stared at her. "He hasn't been sleeping?"

"Not that any of us have seen. He sits up with the baby. I assumed it was part of his thing."

"He needs _less_ and fatigue doesn't slow him down as much. But he can't just. . . not sleep for a week." She shook her head. They'd been so worried about making sure he ate but apparently no one had thought to bug him about his sleep.

Julie was preparing Joey's next feed, and didn't reply for a moment. "It's hard on the fathers. Everything centers on Mom. She makes the milk and generally has much more baby time. They feel just as scared and helpless, but with less oxytocin and more of society telling them Big Boys Don't Cry." She brought he little syringe over and hooked it up to his NG tube. "The ones that tend to be selfish can't handle it, and often bail. The ones that lean towards self-sacrifice. . ." She made a gesture towards Sharon.

And wasn't that Steve to a tee. She'd been downplaying her own pain and discomfort because she knew as soon as she keened he'd be tripping over himself to fix it. He always just wanted to fix it.

"I'll talk to him," she said quietly. Or make Amanda or Bucky do it.

"Sick children can bring out both the best and the worst in people."

"Most crises do."

"I imagine most of those he can punch his way out of."

Sharon chuckled. "It's very hard for him when he can't solve the problem. With punching or without. He's not good with people he loves in pain."

"He seems like somebody who takes everything to heart." She packed up her feeding items. "His public persona makes look like a bit of a hard-ass."

"Well," Sharon said with a smile. "Can't let the bad guys know Captain America is a big softie."

"I suppose not." She pulled the curtain back. "I'll be back in a bit, yell if you need me."

"I will." The curtain swung back into place and Sharon sighed, leaning back in the recliner. "What are we gonna do about your daddy, huh, little guy?"

He, of course, did not answer. She wondered if he was going to be her companion in her lifelong quest to sell Steve on the concept of self-care. Or if he was going to be just like his father, charging off towards danger like God was at his back. Probably the latter. That was probably a hereditary thing.

Joey wiggled and nuzzled her skin. Right now the gene for defying odds and not backing down from a fight was a very good thing. She'd deal with the later years later.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've finished writing this so I'm going to a 2x a week posting schedule. Which two days that will be is still a surprise.
> 
> Sunday is Olives' birthday. There might be a new Missing Floor posted as my gift to her.

Steve got Darcy on the hotel project, and then drove back down to Ithaca to pack more things for them, since they'd be away. He wanted Sharon to have as much of her stuff as was feasible, because she liked familiar environments. She was one of those people who unpacked suitcases into hotel drawers, and who decorated a new home or office before she unpacked practical necessities. He ended up having to go get a larger SUV from the motor pool, loading it slowly. He was so tired it was really starting to get to him.

On one of his trips out to the car he was met by Bucky, Tony, Bruce, and Cal, for some reason. "When was the last time you slept?" Bucky asked without preamble.

He shoved the box he was holding into a space where it didn't quite fit, and grit his teeth. He really didn't have time for this. "Sometimes I really understand why people are bothered by small towns."

"Steve, you can't stubborn yourself through sleep deprivation." Bruce always sounded calm. Usually it was helpful, right now it grated on Steve's frayed nerves.

"You're going to burn yourself out," Bucky added. "Even you can't go a week on no sleep."

He turned to survey them, and his eyes fell on Tony. "Did you put a tracker on me or something? Is FRIDAY monitoring me while I'm at the hospital."

"No, but don't give me ideas."

"One of the nurses mentioned to Sharon that you've been sitting up all night instead of sleeping," Bucky told him. "She called me for advice on how to talk to you."

"And you decided to stage an intervention."

"You need help. You've got a ton on your plate and you're trying to do it all on your own - as is your way - and it's not sustainable. You need to let us help you."

"That's the upside of small towns," Tony said. "Or so I'm told."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "At least you didn't bring _everyone_."

"Some people were busy," Cal said. Bruce shushed him.

Bucky gestured to them. "Cal and Bruce will take your things to your hotel and get you checked in."

"And set up your wifi and computers so you can still video chat," Cal added.

"I'll go to the hospital and fuss over Sharon," Bucky continued. "Stark will set up your baby pod and finish building any baby furniture still left. And you," he pointed to Steve. "Are going to take a nap."

"He's not coming home any time soon," Steve replied, aware he was being contrary just for the sake of being contrary. "We don't need any baby stuff yet."

Bucky took the car keys from him, and Tony gave him a push on the shoulders, apparently planning to walk him into the house if needed. It was a testament to how exhausted he actually was that he didn't put up a fight at that. "Yeah, well, I need the practice."

"I heard that rumor," Steve replied as he went up the steps. "Can I congratulate you yet?"

"Yes, but don't mention it to Pepper. She's being superstitious. I think a baby will need to be exiting her before she admits she's pregnant."

Inside, he stopped at the foot of the staircase to the second floor and turned. "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy."

"Bundles. Technically."

Steve shook his head, not understanding. "What?"

"Two bundles." He was now grinning his shit-eating grin. "The embryo split. We're having twins."

Just thinking about having two babies made Steve's head spin. "Yeah, you do need the practice."

"Go to sleep, Rogers. We'll hold down the fort, keep the home fires burning and all that fun stuff."

"You're one to talk about not sleeping, you know," he said, but he was going up the stairs. If Stark responded, he didn't hear it.

He told himself he was just going to lay down for a cat nap. Ninety minutes, no more. But as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out like a light. 

His dreams were jumbled and messy, frightening in a vague and immediate sense, but without any definition. Like being alone in the middle of a battlefield. 

It was dark out when he woke. Barnabas was curled up next to his head on Sharon’s pillow. Steve blinked at the orange lump and realized in his exhaustion he’d completely forgotten the cat when he’d packed up. 

Cursing a little under his breath, he got up and splashed water on his face in an attempt to drive the dream away. The house was quiet. He found Tony in the nursery, tinkering with a baby pod. The dresser and changing table had been built and were lining the walls. "Sleeping Beauty awakes," he said without looking up at Steve. "How do you feel?"

"Honestly? More tired than when I went to sleep. But probably less likely to cause a car wreck."

"Yeah, it usually takes a few rounds to catch up." He finished whatever he was tightening and looked up. "Everything's fine. Sharon is officially discharged from the hospital and checked into the hotel. Barnes is hanging out with her and Doc is taking the night shift at the hospital so you and your wife can spend more than five minutes together."

Steve frowned. He should have been there to take Sharon to the hotel. "The night shift is my shift."

Tony studied him a moment. "I suppose you can fight Doc for it, but I'd take the chance to sleep next to your wife, if I were you. It's an opportunity that will become vanishingly rare for a while."

That did sound _very_ appealing. "He's so tiny. I just. . .don't want to be away from him."

"I will let you in on a secret, that doesn't go away when they get less tiny." Tony got to his feet and cleared his throat. "Look, I don't pretend to know what you're going through. I'm sorry your introduction to parenthood has sucked this badly. But I do know this - you are a better father if you take care of yourself _and_ your marriage. I tried staying up all night and taking my shift with Ruby and supporting Pepper and working and Banner had to throw me out of the labs. You can't be everything to everyone at all times. We trust Doc with our lives all the time and she's never let us down. Trust her and all the other nurses and doctors with your son for a few hours and spend some time with Sharon. It'll do you both good."

Steve found himself smiling. "Am I going to need to repeat that back to you in six months?"

"Yes, though I suggest switching out Sharon's name for Pepper or we'll both be in trouble."

He laughed. "I'll try to remember. Are there seriously two or did I hallucinate that part?"

"There are really two. I have the blurry grey pictures to prove it."

"That's terrifying," he said as they started to walk to the stairs. He opened the front hall closet and pulled down the cat carrier.

"They'll be identical, too," he replied. "I'm sure that'll come bite me in the ass." He turned to look at Steve. "You sure you're good to drive?"

"I am." He paused for a long moment. "Thank you."

Tony nodded. "Any time.”

He texted Darcy to make sure she’d followed his original instructions about getting a hotel that allowed pets, and packed up the rest of Barnabas’s gear. He was glad he slept, the gymnastics to get him crated would have been beyond Steve’s grasp.

The drive north seemed to take forever, but eventually he made it to the hotel. He left his car with the valet and made his way up to the room number they'd printed on the key sleeve. He heard voices as he nudged the door open.

"And then, he wipes the blood off his nose and says, 'Yeah? Well you haven't seen my _right_ hook yet.'"

Oh, God, not this story. He opened the door in time to see Sharon laughing, pressing a bed pillow to her stomach as she did so. Bucky sat on a little decorative couch, looking too big for the delicate furniture.

Sharon looked up when Steve stepped in, still laughing. He face lit up when she saw him and she started to carefully slip off the bed. "Steve."

"Don't get up, don't get up," he said, rushing to sit beside her on the bed.

She scowled a little but wrapped her arms around him, leaning against his chest. "You look like you slept."

"All I've done is sleep. Them ambushed me." He kissed the top of her head.

"Blame me," she said, not sounding at all sorry. "I was worried about you."

"And, that's my cue," Bucky said. "Goodnight, kids."

"'Night, Buck," he said, poking him with his foot. "And thanks."

"Anytime, punk." He paused to ruffle Steve's hair and let himself out.

Sharon leaned back. "Thank you for packing all this stuff. Showering with my soap and shampoo and putting on my own pajamas was heavenly."

"I know you very well," he told her. “Oh, I almost forgot.” He leaned down to open the cat carrier, which she hadn’t noticed. Barnabas shot out and went under the bed. “Well, that was the cat.”

Her lip trembled a little. “You brought Barnabas.”

“Thought it might help cheer you up. And he gets weird without you.” She hugged him tight. “Did you have dinner? I was thinking of ordering room service."

"I could eat. The menu's over there."

He kissed her temple and went to get it. They picked out meals and he called them in. "How are you feeling?" he asked her.

"Tired," she admitted. "Sore. I've missed you."

"It's been a hell of a week." He pulled her close again. "I missed you, too. I think this is the longest we've slept apart since you moved into the tower."

"I think it is." She sighed and rested her head against him, wrapping an arm around him. "I don't want you to feel like you have to Captain America this. You can be tired and need things for yourself."

"You guys need me to take care of you," he replied.

"Joey needs us to take care of him." She leaned back to look Steve in the face. "You and I need to take care of _each other_. We're partners."

"This feels harder than trying to save the world," he said quietly.

"All the more reason not to try to do it on your own." She trailed her hand up and down his arm. "I'm not at full strength, and I know you don't like it when I'm hurt or sick. But I'm getting better and I want to be a part of what's going on. I don't want to feel like another burden on you."

"You're _not_." He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry," he told. "I just thought I was going to lose you."

"I know," she said softly. "But you didn't and you won't. I doing fine, healing right on schedule. And you know I don't like being fussed over."

"And I'm not helping by giving you cause to worry, am I?"

She didn't answer right away, tracing little patterns on the fabric of his sleeve. Finally, she said carefully, "I need to trust that you're taking care of yourself. That you'll ask for help if you needed it. I promise to do the same."

"All right," he said quietly. "I promise."

"Thank you." She lifted her head to kiss him, as if sealing the deal.

There was a knock on the door then, and he jumped up to get them their dinner. Eating together, with proper plates and silverware, also felt very normal and was something else he'd missed. As was watching her scoop the last smears of chocolate sauce off her dessert plate.

Sharon leaned back with a contented sigh. "The only thing missing is the sex."

He cleared his throat. "I've heard many conflicting things about that topic. The only thing the boys seemed unanimous on was that I not be the one to bring it up."

She laughed. "I got the 'six weeks minimum then when you're up for it' talk from the hospital doctor. Amanda was a little more blunt. I believe the best we can hope for for the first couple times is a vaguely teenagerish fumbling while we're both exhausted but refuse to let the dry spell go any longer."

"I was told we'd get used to doing it quickly and quietly. And also to have lots of lube, which was when I knew the topic had progressed to 'overshare'."

"Was that from Bucky? 'Cause that's probably good advice, overshare or not."

"Yes. I gather they learned that the hard way."

Sharon winced in sympathy. "I should think they will be our more applicable source of advice. She had a c-section and from what I hear their. . . quality and quantity of sex was pretty similar to ours."

"At the time we couldn't know how Joey was coming out, so I heard things about both scenarios. There was drinking involved, therefor honesty. I think we scarred Pietro and Cal."

"Well, I don't think Darcy and Ora will put up with them being squeamish for long." She slowly got up off her feet and walked around the little table to him. Very gingerly, she eased down onto his lap and he put his arms around her to hold her there. This, also, felt normal. "Drunken honesty happens a lot among our friends."

He went to put his hand on her stomach, to pat the baby, then remembered he wasn't in there anymore. Instead he rubbed her knee. "We'll figure it out, I have faith in us."

"So do I." She kissed him tenderly. "I love you."

It was really nice just to kiss her. "I love you back. And am really looking forward to sleeping next to you tonight."

"God, so am I. I don't sleep well without you. Unless I'm drugged, apparently."

"What do you say we just lay down and curl up together?" It was literally the only thing in the world he wanted to do right now.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she swung her legs playfully. "Carry me?"

He tucked his arm under her legs and stood, carrying her as carefully as he could. He set her down on the end of the bed to pull back the covers, then picked her up again to tuck her in. He shed his clothes and climbed in the other side.

She fidgeted a moment, as if she wanted to roll towards him but knew it wouldn't be comfortable. She seemed to settle for scooting closer and using his upper arm as a pillow. "Much better."

The world seemed to right itself, just then. "I missed my wife."

He could hear the smile in her voice when she replied, "She missed you, too."

This time, when he slept, there were no bad dreams.


	6. Chapter 6

Sharon had long gotten used to Steve waking with the dawn. He, in turn, had learned how to do it without waking her up. Most of the time. But they’d gone to bed early, and she’d been up to pump a couple times anyway, so she didn't mind when the sound of him in the hotel shower rousted her. Barnabas started impatiently licking her face, so she had to get up.

She stretched gingerly, careful of her incision and abused abs. Amanda had given her a long lecture on not pushing herself to exercise before she was ready, a necessity that chafed a bit. Sharon had run virtually every day since high school. The expected two months or more of recovery was going to kill her.

Determined not to get into a funk, she eased out of bed and found the room service menu, ordering breakfast for her and Steve as well as a pot of coffee. A full belly would make everything seem better. 

She couldn't help but notice the crumpled workout gear and shoes kicked into the closet across from the bathroom. He'd been up earlier than she'd thought, and _he_ had gone for a run. It was a habit they shared, and she knew he hadn't gone while she was in the hospital.

It was good. She'd told him to take care of himself and getting back into a normal routine was part of that. She was going to have to get used to him going without her and she was glad he'd thought to get it over with before she woke up.

The water turned off so she settled herself in one of the chairs and opened her laptop while she waited for him to emerge. The water turned off, and he wandered out in nothing but a small towel wrapped around his hips. He was still as absolutely perfect as ever. Her body was stretched and cut and swollen, and he continued to look like a greek statue.

Sharon ignored the muddle of emotions the poured through her - jealousy, self-consciousness, hurt - and mustered a smile. It had been so nice to sleep next to him. It would be just as good to eat breakfast and go see Joey with him. She could deal with her changed and foreign body another time. "I ordered us some breakfast."

Steve grinned at her. "Thanks. I'm starving.” Barnabas wound around his feet. “I already fed you.”

"Sleep well?"

"I did. I sleep better next to you than alone." He opened a drawer and pulled out clothes, and she watched his muscles disappear beneath denim and cotton.

"Me too." She was both sad and relieved he was fully dressed. "I think this was good for us. I feel so much better than I have the last few days."

He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "I told Darcy I wanted a hotel with really nice beds."

"And as always, Darcy delivers."

"I talked to Amanda, she said he had a good night, all is well, and we're to take our time and eat breakfast."

Relief loosened tension she hadn't realized she was carrying. It was hard to be away from him. "Good thing I ordered half the menu, then."

He dug around the dresser and came back with the case that contained her pump and he handed it to her. "You're, uh. . .leaking, I think." He gestured at her chest.

She looked down and, sure enough, there was a large wet spot growing on her shirt above her left boob. Sighing, she reached out for the pump. "Guess the milk has successfully come in."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" There was a knock on the door, and turned. "Let me go get the food."

Sharon took the opportunity to duck into the bathroom and pee and change her shirt. Her breast was actively leaking and she waited until she heard the bellboy leave before coming out shirtless and settling down with the pump as Steve set up breakfast. "It's probably the contact with him, helping with all those good hormones."

He stopped to stare at her for a moment. "They are kind of magnificent right now."

They were certainly _larger_ than they'd ever been before. "And you can't even squeeze them without getting milk in your eye."

"I was warned about that part, too."

"We're so lucky we have so many people offering warnings," she teased. The pump was neither small nor discrete, but it was quiet, so once she got it going they could ignore it and enjoy breakfast. It was both very surreal, and very normal.

She filled both pump bottles too high to consolidate. "Well," she said, tucking herself back into her bra. "He's gonna eat well today."

"He is my son," Steve said around a mouthful of french toast, and then he stopped chewing and smiled to himself. It was adorable.

After capping the milk she tucked it away in the cooler they used to transport it and curled up in her chair with her coffee while Steve finished his food. "Neither of us are dainty eaters, I suppose."

Steve checked his watch, and then they packed up and headed to the hospital. Amanda was in Joey's room waiting for them. She let Steve have the first turn since he'd missed his overnight shift.

While he had his cuddle time, Sharon pulled Amanda aside to ask her about exercise. The doctor looked at her incredulously, then shook her head. "Nothing for at least eight weeks. Seriously. Some doctors tell you not to walk up and down stairs for two weeks. No jogging, no sit ups, nothing."

That really did sound like hell. "I haven't gone that long without exercising since I was a kid."

"You've never had abdominal surgery before. If you push to soon you will injure yourself. As in, cause your abdomen to separate and require further surgery. But I promise to look into it and give you a plan to ease back into it."

Sharon glanced back at Steve and Joey, then back at her. "How am I suppose to keep from going crazy before that?"

Amanda looked sympathetic, reaching out to rub her shoulder. "Find another hobby?"

After she left, Sharon pulled the guest chair over and sat with a decidedly grumpy sigh. "Inactivity will be the death of me."

"I'm sorry, honey. I remember that time after the coma Doc had be on house arrest being frustrating." He hadn't been able to run, but they'd entertained themselves with sex. And it had only been a week or two—super serum and all.

Still, she gave him points for trying. She rubbed his calf with her foot. "Amanda suggested I find a hobby. Maybe she'll teach me to knit. Or should I pick a different craft? Woodworking or macrame."

"I don't know what macrame is."

"It's something to do with yarn that was very popular in the seventies. I don't think you're missing much."

"My mother liked embroidery," he said. "We couldn't afford nice things, so she'd embroider things to make them prettier."

She loved when he talked about his mother. His face softened and his body seemed to relax. "I know they have kits for needlepoint and stuff. It couldn't hurt to try it." None of her hobbies had ever been sedentary, but maybe the lesson she could take away from this was to expand her horizons.

"I wish I had pictures," Steve said. "So I could show him his grandparents."

Her heart ached for him. "I'm sorry, Steve."

"But I am happy we can give him family. A big extended one that would do an Irish Catholic proud. I always wanted that."

"He will certainly have that. More cousins than he knows what to do with."

"I know there are a couple of exceptions like you, but most of us don't really have much blood family. So we built one, while saving the world."

Much as she loved her family, that was one of her favorite things about Steve and the Avengers and even living up in Ithaca. This odd, loving, exasperating family they had built out of the pain and violence of their pasts. "Uncles Bucky and Clint can teach him to shoot. And Uncle Tony can teach him how to take his toys apart. And Auntie Nat can teach him how to bake and kill a man with his thighs."

Steve laughed. "I like that. Oh—speaking of cousins. The Starks are having twins."

She grinned. "Oh my God, really? Pepper was so worried about this round."

"He said they were identical. I really cannot imagine having two. Though it does explain a lot about why he was hiding from Wanda, if he was trying to keep that a secret."

"Oh, that reminds me, I told her she could offer a suggestion as to Joey's middle name. Also, we need to find out if we can have a Jewish godmother."

"Considering we're not actually religious, I don't think it will be a problem." Steve made that face of his that indicated he might have done something wrong, and had been hoping to avoid mentioning it. "And he's actually, technically, already been baptized."

Sharon sighed. "You had him baptized while I was unconscious, didn't you?"

He tipped his head back. "You were out of surgery, but you were sill in Ithaca and likely asleep. That first night." His voice was quiet. "Two in the morning, the baby in the room next door died. She was bigger and older than Joey, and I was just sitting here listening the mom sob inconsolably. They called a priest. Afterwards he stuck his head in, said hello and that he'd heard that Captain America was Catholic. I was rattled and he offered and I said yes."

She rubbed her her eyes. That made sense. At least he hadn't gone to seek it out. "Did you give him a middle name?"

"No, no," he said, shaking his head. "It wasn't a full rite. Just. . . a blessing for his soul, I guess." He looked down at the baby. "I was baptized at my mother's bedside when I was three hours old. No one expected me to live the night." 

"Not exactly the tradition I was hoping to pass down," she said with a gentle smile. "Did it make you feel any better?"

"It did. When I was young, if you weren't baptized before you died, you could never go to heaven. I know they changed the rules while I was in the ice, but some fears are hard to shake."

He _had_ been raised in a far more religious household than her. "Well, I think of the baptism as more of a welcome to the world party more than an actual ritual of some sort. So I'm not upset. But we should start thinking about it."

"His middle name _does_ need to be a president."

"No, no. I told her. She said she didn't have an opinion on American presidents, but would look into it."

"She can choose anything she wants. She saved his life."

"I don't know how to ever repay her." She leaned over to stroke Joey's head. "Did she really throw up on your shoes?"

He nodded. "I know she feels the emotions of others. I'm guessing we were pretty overwhelming."

Poor Wanda. "We owe her a really nice Christmas gift."

"Hanukkah, I believe is the right holiday. Though, really, we could get her gifts for both." 

Sharon smiled. "Both is good."

*

Steve was very grateful they both had jobs that provided them pretty much unlimited leave—but they hadn't quite gotten all the pieces in place yet. The plan had been for Sharon to take a year off after the baby was born, with the exception of high-level meetings that Hill didn't want to do without her. They had only just begun to interview candidates to cover the rest of her job functions when the baby had been born, and so once Joey was stable and Sharon was moving around better, they began ferrying people up to Syracuse for her to interview. 

If things were quiet—and right now they were—the Avengers didn't really need anything from him, so he had plenty of time to hang out with the baby while she did her interviews. And because only two people were allowed to visit at once, aside from Amanda's doctor exception, it was also a nice time for brief visitors.

The afternoon Sam came to visit, a sour-faced nurse named Stephanie that Steve didn't particularly like gave him the side eye and stated that visits were family only. "This is my family," Steve replied calmly, and stared back at her to silently dare her to bring up any one of several very obvious points indicating he and Sam were not, in fact, related.

She sniffed a little and it was kind of fun to see her war with herself over how much of a stickler to be. "Keep visits short," she said shortly.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, and she left, allowing Sam to sit across from him. "How's the home front?"

Sam shrugged. "Not much to report. Nat took over your training duties and now every bit of my body hurts. Tony's riled up about something and with you and Doc distracted Bruce is on full time 'no-apocolypse' duty. And you are missing some _truly_ dystopian political ads."

"Yeah, if Tony gets us into another hole, Sharon is in no shape to dig us out." He looked down at the baby. "I've seen some of the ads. I love the one about we're going to cause the end of the world."

"I know, right? We're not nearly that ambitious."

Politicians were still making hay out of demonizing the Avengers. Despite the fact that they were under government oversight and many of their missions these days were humanitarian. "We've been in close proximity to enough near-things, I suppose."

"Yeah well." Another shrug. "We're only good to them while we're fighting, then we should do them the favor of ceasing to exist until we're needed again. It's how the US has treated vets since the Revolution, no reason to treat us different."

Steve tilted his head. "Can't say I ever thought of it that way."

"I've seen enough marginalized vets to see the pattern. Politicians love soldiers. Wear the flag pin, support the troops, thank you for your service. But as soon as we come home and try to live our life and heal our wounds the money runs out and the support dries up. We don't need the cash, thanks to Stark, but the rest of it sure sounds familiar." He shook his head sharply. "Sorry, man. I really did come to meet the little guy, not lecture."

"I don't think you're wrong. Remember when we did the photoshoot after my wedding? With our families and out of uniform. There was a lot of commentary that seemed surprised we were so human. As if we weren't people, just weapons."

"I think people are comfortable with us being larger-than-life. Superheroes. They don't need to think about the fact there's a person in the Iron Man suit, or that the scary guy with the metal arm has a baby. It's easier if we're not people, just characters in a movie." Joey yawned and shifted and Sam paused to smile at him. "Politicians think they can control The Avengers. Put us in a box and take us out when things get scary. They forget we're individuals with names and needs and loved ones. And there's only so much control you can exert over that."

"I like to think we have a balance. At least right now." And he certainly didn't have the headspace to contemplate otherwise.

Sam grinned again. "Politics in the fall is all hot air anyway. I should probably stick to Netflix till after the election and stop seeing the ads."

"When I was young, we didn’t have TV. But the newspaper adds were still annoying at election time."

"Probably easier to avoid, though."

Stephanie came over, yanking the curtain aside. "I need him back in the isolette for vitals check and feeding."

Steve frowned at her. "Julie and Megan do it while he's on us."

"Well. I'm not them." She reached and lifted the baby off his chest. Joey started to fuss, and had worked up a good scream by the time she got him back in the warmer.

He didn't know what his face looked like but it was apparently enough to get Sam to catch his arm. "Why don't we talk a walk, get some air."

Steve took a step back. "I don't know if I want to leave right now." Joey's monitors were beeping now, and his heart rate and oxygen sat were bouncing all over the place, probably because he was upset at being dumped back in there.

The step back seemed to satisfy Sam, but he hovered at Steve's elbow. Stephanie seemed to take her sweet time taking Joey's temperature and marking down his other vitals, which, of course, would be totally out of whack thanks to his stress.

Sure enough, Stephanie began muttering about needing to call the doctor. This for a baby who had been completely stable two minutes ago. Steve was just thinking about calling Amanda when something caught his eye to the left and he turned. There was a man in scrubs near the NICU door, taking pictures with a phone.

Momentarily forgetting about the nurse from hell, he strode down the hall. "What the hell do you think you're doing."

Panic crossed the guys features and he fumbled a couple steps back. "Nothing, nothing. Taking some shots to show my parents. I just got this job."

Steve didn't believe that for one second. The guy had no ID badge and his scrubs were green, whereas everyone else was in yellow today. Behind him, he head Sam tell the nurses at the desk to call security.

He caught up with the man quickly, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him out through the NICU doors. Steve tossed him forward into the outer hall, and he hit the opposite wall hard enough dent the drywall, and maybe break bones. "Try again."

"Ah, fuck, man." He gripped his ribs. "What the fuck."

Behind him, the nurses were all talking, he wasn't sure if it was at him or on the phone or both. Sam caught up with him. “Who sent you?"

The guy eyed him, then Steve, then winced. "There's a bidding war. Any shot of Captain America's kid. Running five figures."

Steve grabbed the man's phone, and broke it in half. "There are very sick babies in there, including mine, that you just put at risk." Then he picked the guy up by his shirt. "I put up with your parasites harassing Sharon and I, but this is my _son_." 

"Sir."

That was not Sam's voice. Steve looked over to see a collection of men in security uniforms flanking him. "We'll take it from here, Captain," the one closest said. "We take strangers in the nursery very seriously."

"Ooo," Sam said, still at Steve's six. "That sounds like attempted kidnapping charges to me."

The security guard smiled but didn't confirm it, reaching out for the paparazzi Steve was dangling.

Steve dropping him on the floor at the man's feet, none too gently. He put his hands on his hips and bent his head as the guards took him off. After a moment, Sam reached up and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "How about that fresh air now?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea."

They left the hospital entirely, walking around the grounds, crunching through fall leaves. Sam didn't say anything, which he appreciated. It was nice to have someone to be silent with.

The amount of anger Steve felt bothered him. For a moment he'd wanted to snap the actual man in half and not just his phone. "There's no decency," was all he said.

"It was a shit thing to do," Sam agreed. "I'm hoping they can get a couple magazine names out of him. Cause 'em a PR nightmare."

He rubbed his eyes. "Why the hell is my sick child worth money? What is wrong with people?"

"Lots of things. But I think this particular goes back to what we were discussing earlier. That's not your sick child in there. That's Captain America's son. He's probably wrapped up in an American Flag diaper, all blond haired and blue eyed. I bet you not one of those rags understands what a preemie baby really looks like, or what goes into keeping him alive."

"I should call Darcy and have her get PR to deal with this."

"I think she would enjoy that."

He sighed. "Thank you for keeping me from killing him."

Sam nudged him. "What are wingmen for?"


	7. Chapter 7

Sharon stopped by the hotel to shower and change after her interview—she liked to do that between being in public around strangers, and seeing her son. When she got back to the hospital, she was surprised to find a pair of cops standing outside the NICU doorway, talking to Lucille, the Charge Nurse.

Stomach sinking, she went over to them. "What's going on?"

"The NICU is closed for visitors right now," one of the cops said.

"That's Sharon Rogers," Lucille said. "She's fine." Then she looked at Sharon. "We had a little incident, a photographer snuck into the nursery." It was only then that she noticed the dent in the wall opposite them.

Someone would have called her if Steve had been arrested. "Is my husband here?"

"He's in with the baby." She gestured at the door. "Go ahead back, send Mr. Wilson out."

Oh, thank God for Sam. She nodded to the cops and made her way back to Joey's room.

Steve was exactly where she'd left him that morning, stretched in the recliner with the blanket-swathed baby on his chest. She breathed out a sigh of relief and smiled, wiggling her fingers at Sam, who stood to hug her. "I hear I missed some excitement?" she asked, aiming for a light tone.

"We had an asshole with a camera," Sam said. "We handled it."

"Are we paying for the damage to the wall?"

"I didn't think to offer," Steve said. "But that would probably be prudent."

"I'll make a note." She went over to kiss him. "Hello."

He smiled at her. "Hi. How'd it go?"

"Hill thinks I'm too picky. I think these people have no idea what they're signing up for."

"They don't have to last forever. Just a year," Steve said as she settled into the chair across from him. Sam waved to them both and headed out.

"I know, but as we all know, a lot can happen in a year. I don't want to set someone up for failure." Her job was very specific, and not at all easy. And she'd thought she'd have much more time to get it sorted. 

"We are all unique and hard to replace, aren't we?" She knew that he'd been thinking about that. What would happen if there was a major mission and they had to go without him. 

"You don't become an Avenger by being average." She rubbed his foot idly. "I remember when Pepper hired Violet she said anyone who watched her kids had to be okay with a freaky genius baby and prepping for super villain drills. Our lives and jobs are not normal." She sighed. "Maybe Nat and Darcy can just cover for me until I'm ready to go back."

She could see him considering. "Nat handled the Congressional Hearings after the Trisk very well."

"That's what made me think of it. They like having someone they consider on the 'inside' to talk to. I feel like if I hand over to what is, essentially, a temp, they'll complain they aren't getting enough insight or are being put off."

"It's certainly worth discussing with her."

Sharon nodded. "I'll tell Maria to hold off on my next round of interviews. Until I can talk to Nat."

"Sounds like a good idea." He paused, and frowned down at the baby. "Is it about time for his next feed?"

She glanced at the clock on the wall. "Looks like it, yeah."

"He's rooting around on my chest. I know they keep saying it's not that. . . yet it happens at food times."

Before all of this had happened, in her last conversation with her, Sharon's mother had given her a piece of advice. "Trust your instincts." She decided now was as good a time as any to take it. Tugging up her shirt she said, "Move. Gimme him."

"Are you going to try and feed him? With the tube in his nose?" He sounded skeptical, but she didn't care because he did get up with the baby so they could swap chairs.

"I'm going to try." She settled and peeled down her soft, shapeless bra. She swore she'd only pumped an hour ago, but her breasts already felt full. "And if he manages to even latch maybe they'll agree to give it a proper try."

Steve moved the tubes and wires carefully, and settled Joey against her chest. The nurses had insisted he wouldn't be able to nurse, and maybe he wouldn't. On the other had, his father must have been able to—in 1919, all Sarah Rogers would have had at her disposal was breastmilk, body heat, and prayer.

Of course, no one had given her any pointers or tips on how to do this. But she's seen Amanda, Pepper and her sister-in-law do it dozens of times. She she settled him into place and cupped one breast to get her nipple level with his upper lip. At the first brush he opened his mouth wide and pounced on her. The force of his suck made her squeak, but a second later she felt the milk come and he settled.

Steve stared in surprise. "Is he drinking?"

"Sure as shit feels like it." She studied the baby. "He's swallowing."

"Should I go get the nurse?"

Sharon was sure she was grinning like an idiot. "I think so. Otherwise they won't believe us."

"Okay. Stay there, don't move," he added, like she was going to get up and go somewhere. 

She watched him duck out the curtain, then smiled down at Joey who was still happily sucking away. "That's my little fighter." She stroked his cheek with a finger and hummed a little lullaby. They were still right there when Steve returned with not one but two nurses. They swarmed around behind her, and the commotion caused Joey to pull off and cry.

"He couldn't have been drinking," one of the nurses said as Sharon tried to calm him. "They don't have the suck reflex."

Sharon turned on the look she gave politicians who called her husband a vigilante. "He was sucking. Hard enough to hurt. My milk came down and he drank."

"Preemie babies don't have the suck reflex," the woman repeated, sounding patronizing.

Pointing at Steve, Sharon said, "He did."

They both turned to look at Steve, and apparently that was enough quiet to get Joey to latch back on. Steve pointed. They turned back to Sharon and their jaws dropped. The one who hadn't lectured her said, "Holy shit," then smacked a hand over her mouth.

"We'll need to tell the doctor," Nurse one said. "See about removing the feeding tube."

Nurse two shook her head. "This could be a fluke, and certainly won't happen for every feeding."

It wasn't a fluke, as it turned out, and a few days later, Joey began pulling his feeding tube out on his own, defying several different kinds of tape. Steve looked as proud of that as if Joey had won a gold medal at the Olympics. This kid sure had a gene pool full of stubborn, defiant orneriness. After three days, they gave up and decided to tube him only when he needed it for a feeding. By the end of the following week, he took every feeding by breast or bottle.

The doctors threw around words like "Extraordinary" and "Exceptional" a lot.

That was around when Amanda started the campaign to let him come home with them. Apparently, once preemies were out of the woods, so to speak, it was common to move them to a step-down nursery, particularly if the NICU they were at wasn't the closest to home. Amanda seemed to think that between her, FRIDAY and the Stark BabyPod they were close enough to a low-level NICU for Joey's needs. Sharon was well in favor of this. The fact that the hospital now had to post security at the doors to the NICU was an inconvenience she hoped would help foster cooperation. 

They were a month before Sharon's due date when Amanda poked her head into Joey's room while he was eating. "Good news."

Steve looked up at Sharon, then over at Amanda. "Home?"

"Home," she confirmed. "Tomorrow morning, all he has to do is pass a test where he sits in a carseat for an hour and keeps breathing. I have to set your Pod up for monitoring and you're going to see far too much of me the next couple weeks. And I think I sort of promised that Stark will start making Pods for NICUs. But Joey can go home."

Before Sharon could say anything, Steve stood up and hugged Amanda, lifting her clear off her feet.

She squeaked. "Oh, the ribs. Careful of the ribs."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"You're very welcome. But seriously, you're going to be so sick of my face." He set her down and she patted his arm. "I'll meet you here tomorrow around nine to help with discharge. Enjoy your last night in the hotel."

"To hell with the hotel. I can't wait to get home."

"One more night," Sharon said with a smile.

Steve's eyes widened. "I need to go home and get things ready. I mean, the furniture's all built, but we need things. Diapers and. . . things." She wasn't sure she'd ever seen him so flustered.

Amanda looked amused. "I had Darcy order diapers and preemie formula, but if you feel the need to go home and nest now would be the time to do it."

He nodded. "Thanks. We should take all our stuff home. And the cat. I still need to get the carseat. And my shield."

Sharon exchanged a glance with Amanda and they seemed to mutually decide not to ask. "Go on," Sharon said. "I'll be just fine here."

He leaned over and gave her a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you back. Go do what you have to, I'll find my own way to the hotel if you're not back."

*

During Joey’s impressive smashing of his NICU milestones, people would clap Steve on the shoulder say it was because the baby had his genes. After the fifth time he explained the serum wasn't inheritable, he gave up and just smiled and nodded. 

Then Bucky said it, and responded to the glare with, "And how many times did doctors tell your mother you'd be dead by morning? And then you weren't? You're the sturdiest damn person I know."

Which is how Steve found himself pulling away from the hospital with a tiny body tucked in a carseat in the back the first week of November, nearly a month ahead of schedule. On, as it turned out, the day the first snowstorm of the season hit Syracuse.

It was the single most terrifying drive of his entire life.

Sharon reached over and put a hand on his arm, giving him a little squeeze. "Breathe."

"I had offers from multiple members of the team for supernatural assistance in getting home safely. But no. Captain America can drive a car 50 miles." 

She smiled. "Everything will be fine. Think how nice it will be to be home with him." He glanced over at her. She'd been running ragged nursing and pumping and camping out in the NICU most of her waking hours—and them sleeping in a hotel at night. That on top of still recovering from her rather traumatic surgery, she was looking tired and pale. He probably couldn't comprehend how much she wanted all of them home. 

He drove like grandpa the whole way down the Thruway, but they made it. The guard at the gates pulled the bar up so they didn't have to stop, and when he reached the neighborhood, that gate had also been opened. Someone had hung a giant banner saying "Welcome home Joseph" over the top of the gates.

His phone buzzed as he pulled up in front of their house. When he pulled it out he saw a text from Nat. _Company? Or do you two need space?_

_How many?_ They had been given strict instructions on minimizing the germs the baby was exposed to. Ada Marsh had been heartbroken when told she couldn’t meet the baby just yet.

There was a long pause as she typed, then, _Amanda wants to come be doctorly. Wanda would like to come and meet him in person. Violet wants to come coo BUT ONLY IF IT'S OKAY WITH YOU. The other moms are varying levels of interest but will wait for invitations. Several people also have food for you._

_Give us a few,_ he texted, then got out of the car, jogging around to get Sharon's door. She'd let him fuss over her while she was first recovering from her c-section, but she was clearly feeling better given the face she made at him. But she did look tired, so she let him help her out. 

Steve opened the back door and moved his shield, which he'd wedged between the carseat and the door. Despite it being the safest carseat in existence. Sharon hadn't even teased him.

He pressed a button on the carseat and the clamps released with a hiss, the seat lifting and turning so Steve could take the baby out. This was one of Tony’s baby gear items Amanda had convinced him to go through the trouble of getting approved for public sale. It turns out the _was_ a market for a thousand dollar carseat that could withstand an airplane crash. The deluxe model could withstand a jet-fuel fireball that might follow an airplane crash.

Joey’s had been a gift. Steve and Sharon did have to buy an SUV to house the damn thing, though.

Sharon had reached the front door by the time he has the seat out and was heading up as well. She waited for him before opening the door. He followed her into the living room where she sank onto the couch with a soft sigh. Stowing the carseat into an out of the way corner he unbuckled the sleeping baby and carried him over to the couch to join her.

He turned his head and started rooting around against Steve's chest as he sat. "Still not getting anything out of that, buddy."

"I'm sure he'll figure it out eventually," Sharon said, already shrugging out of her cardigan and unhooking the strap of her tank top. He handed her the baby and with a little adjusting she had him tucked against her, nursing happily. She sighed and tipped her head back, looking rather blissed out. "Mmm. Hormones."

He watched her a moment, thinking this might be the most beautiful sight he'd ever witnessed. "Would you find it weird if I drew this?"

"Mmm, no. I've seen paintings of this."

He kissed her temple, and then went to go get his sketchpad. Then he sat across from her. Barnabas crept out from under the couch and hopped up next to Sharon. He sniffed at the baby’s feet a moment. “This might be the worst thing that's ever happened to him," Steve commented, and Sharon chuckled. 

The cat climbed in her lap and studiously wedged himself under Joey’s back and Sharon's arms, making some sort of nursing pillow out of himself. A loud purr was audible. “I think he approves,” she said.

This, Steve decided, would make an even better sketch. “Oh. Nat texted me about visitors."

Sharon looked over at him with a vaguely panicked expression. "Not all of them."

"That's why Nat is gatekeeping, I think. Amanda wants to come check on him." He put the pad and charcoal down to get up and show her the whole text message.

Leaning over to peer at it she nodded. "I approve of those three people. The rest can come in waves." She leaned back and stroked the baby's hair. "I want Wanda to meet him.” Wanda had been on the extremely short list of people allowed to visit in the NICU, but it turned out the unit was such a condensed pool of fear and stress that she hadn't been able to make it through the door without feeling sick.

“Wanda first,” he said aloud as he texted Nat back.

Joey had finished his snack and was getting a diaper change when there was a tap at the front door and Wanda's voice, "Hello?"

"Come in," Steve called, handing Sharon a wipe. Diapers were kind of a two man job right now.

The door closed with a click and she came in, detouring through the kitchen before finding them. "There's two days of food in your fridge, now," she told them. "We are taking shifts cooking so you don't have to worry about it. Amanda made me shower and change my clothes, and then hosed me in hand sanitizer, so you don't have to worry—” Her face split into a grin when she saw Sharon lifting Joseph off the changing table. "How is the little man?"

"Happier now that his balls are dry."

"I can see how that would help."

"You want to hold him?" Sharon asked, probably more out of politeness than actually wondering what the answer was.

In response Wanda stepped closer and held her arms out. Sharon set the baby in them and Wanda cradled him close in one arm, covering his chest and stomach with the other hand. "Hello, Joseph," she said softly. "It's nice to meet you." She paused and her smile changed a little. "Yes, it is bright and loud out here, but you get used to it."

Steve grinned. "Okay, you have an open invitation to come over any time."

"Careful, I'll be here all the time, stealing your baby." She paused and looked back at Joseph. "You should really think of them as Mama and Dada."

"What does he think of us as?" Sharon asked.

Wanda looked vaguely embarrassed when she said, "Food source and comforting rumbly sound."

Steve's grin was making his cheeks hurt. "I'm okay with that."

"That's about what I expected," Sharon said, shaking her head. 

"It isn't like real words. Just impressions and feelings. I have to translate. They get more formed when they're older." She cradled him closer and kissed the top of his head, then laughed. "Funny sounding lady isn't very flattering, little one."

Steve watched them for a moment. "I don't know if I ever properly said thank you."

Wanda paused again, then looked up at them. "It was my pleasure. Thanks is not needed."

Sharon leaned against him, and he rubbed her back. "Why don't you go sit down and I'll get you something to drink."

"Eventually, I will feel better enough to not let you fuss," she told him, even as she headed for the couch. "Today is just not that day."

"I enjoy the fussing," he replied. "But I will be happy to see you be up to kicking my ass again."

She smiled at that. "I may take a nap, as I'm sure you'll have all the help you can ask for."

"Go right ahead, I'll wake you if he's hungry."

After a pause to hug Wanda and kiss the baby, she headed for the stairs. He listened to her walk, slow and trudging and tried not to fret.

"She's worried you won't take care of yourself while you're busy caring for her and Joseph," Wanda said, swaying gently. "But she's too tired to do anything about it."

"The serum does allow me to handle sleep deprivation far better than she can.” Though even he could admit the incident where he stayed awake for a week had been a bad idea.

"It's not just lack of sleep," she told him, in a tone that indicate she thought he probably already knew that. "You've both been through trauma. I could feel your fear and worry across the yard. That will take time to heal. To stop being afraid for him."

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I was so worried my children would be like I was before the serum. Amanda told me a lot of it was probably caused by being born early. But that wasn't very likely to happen with my kid." He shrugged and sighed. "And then we came so close to losing him. I could have lost _both_ of them." Talk about things that kept him up at night. The part of his subconscious that had feared burying Sharon as an old woman apparently hadn't contemplated burying her young.

"I know." Wanda's voice was soft and sympathetic. "And now you want to throw yourself into caring for them with everything you have. But you need to care for yourself, as well.” Sharon had told him the same thing. And he’d promised her. It was just harder than he’d thought. Wanda crossed to him and he automatically held his arms out, taking the now sleeping baby from her. "His stomach is full. He is content and warm. He knows you are near. That's all he needs to sleep peacefully." She looked up at Steve with those big dark eyes of hers that saw so much. "Take time to appreciate the good without getting bogged down in the bad."

The baby in his arms seemed to settle him. Bucky had tried to explain it to him after Edie was born, but he hadn't understood. How it was all worth it. Every single minute. The serum and the war and the ice. The Chitauri and the Trisk and Sokovia. All of it, for his son. "I suppose we could all use a nap."

"I will tell the others to wait a little longer," she said. "If you need anything just yell out your front door. I imagine someone will come running."

He nodded. He's been wondering why Wanda had come in first when Amanda had wanted to do doctor things. Now he suspected the visiting order had actually been at Doc's behest. "Tell her I'll text her for a checkup when we're up from our nap." 

Some people were uncomfortable letting Wanda read them. Steve liked not having to explain his train of thought.

She smiled widely. "I will pass on the message." She stroked Joey’s hair once more before stepping back. "Enjoy your nap. I think I'll go see what Zev thinks of children outside of wedlock."

Steve laughed, and walked her to the door. Then he carried the baby upstairs. Sharon was asleep tucked under the covers, and he set Joey down in his BabyPod, and pressed the button that made it rock gently. "FRIDAY," he whispered as he took off his shoes and jeans. "If you can hear me, shades down."

To his relief, the window shades slid down all but silently, without the AI's verbal acknowledgement. Sharon stirred when he joined her on the bed and curled closer. He tucked her against his body, holding her as carefully as he could, mindful not to touch her incision. The last time they had slept together in their own bed was the night before Wanda had noticed something wrong.

Sharon sighed and murmured sleepily, "All is well?"

"Yes. Our resident psychic suggested we all take a nap. I concurred."

"Funny sounding lady is wise beyond her years."

He closed his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this content. "Have I told you I adore you?"

"Everyday." He could hear the smile in her voice. "We're a good team."

"And we made a whole new person."

"We did. And he's as tough as the two of us put together."

He nuzzled her hair. "I did notice that part, yes."

She sighed again and he felt her relax. "This was a good day."

"All of use finally home? Yeah, yeah it was."

Covering his hand with hers, she gave him a squeeze. "Sleep well, baby."

"I think I just might."


	8. Chapter 8

Sharon had to admit, having your co-parent capable of massive sleep deprivation was extremely handy. Especially since she was still healing. She made sure Steve slept at least a few hours everyday, but was extremely grateful for the extra night shifts he took.

They fell into a nice routine. Amanda visited two or three times a day to check on Joey and download the monitoring information his Pod collected. He continued to thrive and grow, much to her relief.

Nat had been amenable to help cover Sharon's job, so the interviews had stopped. Which was good, because they'd been placed on a bit of a lockdown for the winter cold and flu season, something that was apparently common for premature babies. Anyone who came into the house had to be scanned by FRIDAY and wash their hands like they were scrubbing in for surgery. Amanda had given a class. Generally, the less contact he had with people, the better, so they were banned from going out. 

Or should she say, _she_ was banned from going out. The baby couldn't, of course, but Steve could, because Steve never got sick. When a bout of the flu hit Violet and some of the other children, it was a very close thing to keep Steve from actually hermetically sealing the house.

There was always entertainment. FRIDAY could look up just about any movie or television show she wanted, and she kept her tablet loaded with new books. But the house arrest, on top of the general ban on exercise, plus lack of work was starting to weigh on her.

Amanda had given her a sheet with stretching and core exercises she was allowed to start doing. They left her pleasantly, familiarly sore, but didn't really work up a sweat. She also had a band to wear around her abdomen to help support her muscles. Amanda had been very graphic about what happened when your abs split apart, so Sharon wore it religiously. Sitting around all day on the couch did nothing for the vague, irrational sense that she was never going to look the way she had before the baby and that the way she did look wasn't particularly attractive.

It did not help that Steve continued to look perfect. He'd come in from his run in the morning, while she was feeding the baby in a spit-up stained nursing tank, and wander between the dresser and the bathroom where his shower was heating up wearing nothing but a towel—or less. She used to love the ease and frequency of his nudity, but now it just reminded her of everything that had changed on her body and how, in a lot of ways, it didn't belong to her. Joey was picky about bottles, so she nursed as much as possible. And for a healthy, constantly growing preemie that meant a _lot_ of nursing. She was beginning to feel like a dairy cow.

She needed to shake this funk somehow. Before the resentment really started to fester.

Her official post-partum doctor's visit had been postponed several times, mostly for baby-related reasons, and because she had Amanda next door if she had any actual problems. Amanda had been nagging her gently, and on the last round had said, "You know, they'll probably sign you off for exercise."

She knew how to properly motivate, Sharon would give her that. Begrudgingly, she made one more appointment with her OB and told Steve she'd have to go into town.

"You could go shopping or something," he said. "When you're in town. If you wanted."

Retail therapy had its merits. "I'm not sure what I'd buy. But I'll think about it."

He watched her. "How about the spa? Get a pedicure?"

So he _had_ noticed her funk. "I promise to mention my mood to the doctor."

Steve folded his arms over his chest. "And then do something nice for yourself."

She tamped down the spike of irritation. He loved her and wanted to help. "When I think of something nice to do, I will."

He held up his hands. "Okay. Sorry. I hope your appointment goes well."

She sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. "Thank you. Sorry."

He leaned over and kissed her temple. It was a very chaste kiss. They all seemed to be lately. "Joey and I will be here when you get back."

"Right."

It took a depressing amount of time to find pants that were comfortable, she could wear out of the house and didn't make her feel like a stuffed sausage. Maybe shopping was in order, though she didn't know that buying fat pants would actually improve her mood.

The drive into town was nice enough, the roads mostly clear. There was already Christmas stuff in the store windows and imagining Joey's first Christmas morning made her smile a little.

Her doctor did, in fact, clear her for exercise, which made the twenty minutes trying on pants almost worth it. She told her about the bad mood she'd been in, but since she was nursing so much, an antidepressant wasn't ideal. At least not until Joey tolerated formula and bottles more.

"Try the exercise," the OB said. "Endorphins are a wonderful thing and you'll feel better getting back into old routines."

"So I can run?" she asked, just to clarify. She needed a serious sweat to actually get any endorphins.

"You can. Listen to your body, ease up if it hurts. Ease into it and have Dr. Newbury check you out if anything feels off. But if it's a choice between depression or pushing a little hard on your exercise, I'll lean towards the exercise." She shook a finger at her. "I'm trusting you not to hurt yourself. Maybe get a running buddy who's less skilled then you. It'll give you someone to talk to and help keep you in check."

That wasn't a terrible idea. Amanda was in decent shape and always complaining she could work out more. And she'd had a c-section and was married to a guy with a pretty perfect body. They probably had a lot to talk about. "I'll look into that."

"Good. Let me know if anything changes, or if you feel the depression doesn't improve."

Sharon nodded and pondered mentioning the body and sex issues. But it was a personal issue as much as a medical one. Amanda really would be a better resource. 

Then the doctor glanced at her file and said, "What do you want to do for birth control?"

Dammit. "I thought breast feeding works for that?"

She looked back at Sharon. "Do you pump at all?"

"Rarely. He doesn't really like bottles so I'm usually on tap."

"How long did it take you to get pregnant?"

Thanks to super serum sperm. . . "About three days."

"I would not rely on breastfeeding, unless you're willing to risk getting pregnant again. Which in your case I _strongly_ advise against. With the caesarian, you'll want at least 18 months before you get pregnant again." She paused. “Because of the type of incision necessitated by gestational age and emergency, you’ll need a c-section with all your subsequent births, but I see no reason to think they won't be healthy and full term—If, and only if, you don't court dangerous complications by getting pregnant again too soon."

"No, no. No Irish twins." She really didn't think she could handle another pregnancy right now. "Um, most of the women on the team have hormonal implants. Dr. Newbury does it. I can make an appointment with her to get one this week, if that's all right."

She nodded. "I would be cautious if your son is still not taking a bottle, as they can affect milk supply in some women. You may want to start with barrier methods for a bit, or we can get you an IUD.”

It had to be the sleep deprivation that made her blurt out, "I don't know that I can find condoms that would fit him."

The doctor chuckled, and shook her head. The look on her face indicated this was probably information she felt she didn't need to know about Captain America. "You'd be surprised how well they stretch. I've seen them used as water balloons. Though if _that_ is a concern, you may want to take it very slow, and use a lot of lubricant."

"Yeah, you're not the first to mentions that." She sighed. Maybe they'd just be celibate forever. He was from the twenties, maybe that would be all right. "I'll talk to him."

"Most men are surprisingly flexible after a long enough dry spell."

Steve was actually pretty easy going about sex, in general. Of course, that didn't help with the flab and the scars, but she really didn't feel like getting into that right now. So she thanked her doctor and headed out. On the way back to the car she stopped into a kitschy little store and browsed. There was no reason she had to rush home.

Except, of course, twenty minutes into her browsing her breasts started to ache in warning. So she bought what she'd already picked out and hustled to the car.

The house was quiet when she got back; she'd fully expected a screaming baby. Instead she found Steve stretched out on the couch, Joey asleep on his chest. There was an empty bottle on the end table behind him.

She grinned, utterly delighted for the first time all day. "He drank?" she whispered.

Steve grinned proudly. "Two ounces."

Cheering silently, she did a little dance over to the couch and leaned down to kiss him. Parenthood was about the little victories. "Well done, baby."

"How'd it go?" he asked.

"Good." She crossed her arms on the back of the couch. "I'm cleared to exercise, but have to ease into it. She suggested finding a running partner to help pace myself. I thought I'd ask Amanda. I can't take any anti-depressants because of the breast milk, but we're hoping getting back to running will perk up my mood with natural endorphins."

"Good," he said. "I know how much you miss it. I know how much _I_ missed it when laid up. And I love the idea of you taking Doc jogging."

She grinned. "Maybe the whining will spur me on." She paused, then reached out to play with his hair. "We discussed birth control as well."

He looked up at her, his face unreadable. "Did you?"

Hell of a poker face her husband had. She took a deep breath and tried to keep her tone detached and clinical. "Yes. Given your super sperm, relying on the breast feeding is a really bad idea. Hormonal will probably effect my milk supply, so we might need to resign ourselves to barrier methods."

He looked vaguely embarrassed. "Ah, well, condoms it is, then. Or did they give you a diaphragm?"

"Actually, we didn't even talk about it." She hesitated. "To be honest I'm not really eager to be mucking about up there. I've never used a diaphragm before, not sure this is the right time to start."

"They were the thing in the '40's. I actually know how to—" he cut himself off, closed his eyes, and scrunched up his face. "Sorry. It's only because I am _really_ tired that I even started that sentence."

Sharon had to laugh, mostly at the blush rising on his cheeks. "Well I suppose if worst comes to worse." She shook her head. "Did you ever use condoms? Do they, uh, fit?"

The blush got darker. "Yes. I've never had a problem with that. Though they are _much_ better now than during WWII."

"Well. Good." Best not to ask. Her breasts were starting to tingle and she liked this shirt, so she stood and grabbed the pump, settling in the arm chair that worked best for this. As she hooked up the tubes and attached the bottles she pondered how far she wanted to take this conversation.

He was maddeningly quiet over there. She looked down at the pump, a awkward and unsexy device if ever there was one, especially with the strange slurping noise it made. If she took it off and looked into the flanges it looked and moved surprisingly like a mouth, tongue and all. But it could empty her in five minutes flat, didn't hurt at all—in fact it felt good enough someone somewhere would probably use it was a sex toy—and it had let Pepper feed her baby while being a CEO. It was, however, currently magnifying her frumpy, dairy-cow feelings.

She missed her husband. She knew everyone had different libidos, but they rarely went more than a few days without sex. They'd worked around her bump like it was no big deal, and had made jokes about having a Dry Spell Countdown Calendar for the six weeks after birth. And now here they were, over two months out, and the idea of him seeing her naked all but turned her stomach.

"It's going to hurt," she said quietly when the pump had done its job. She was tired of trying to ignore it, of hoping she could just muscle through it. He was her husband, they could have an honest conversation about sex. "We make jokes about lube but . . . I really was worried you're too big for condoms. So even in the moments when I do feel somewhat amorous, that stops me."

He cleared his throat. Twice. "You have moments where you feel amorous?"

"When seeing you naked isn't reminding me that I no longer look like myself, it does what it used to do."

"Sharon," he said softly. "I still think you're beautiful. Maybe even more so than before."

She carefully packed up the pump and fixed her shirt before facing him. "Thank you, I believe you. But it's not entirely about you. I've been in shape my entire life. Save for an awkward few months during puberty I've looked more or less the way I did when we met. And now I bulge in odd places and have this scar that sometimes has no sensation and sometimes tingles or hurts for no reason. It's strange and frustrating and hard on the ego."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to. . .I mean I don't want to. . ." He sighed and tipped his head back on the couch arm, looking at the ceiling. "Sorry."

"I know. I know it's not your fault. And I know the other guys have probably beat it into you not to ask or pester me." She took a deep breath. "But I think, maybe, I need you to. . . initiate. With the understanding that I may still say no because I'm tired or hurting. But it feels like we barely touch anymore and that's not doing the old ego any favors either."

He turned his head and looked at her, his eyes doing a slow perusal that could have scorched her. His voice was about an octave lower when he said, "All right."

The sudden heat in her belly was both foreign and familiar. "That," she said, voice thin. "Things like that are good."

She could now identify the look on his face as ‘relief'. "And there are _plenty_ of things that won't hurt that we can do."

Now she was blushing, but she was smiling as well. "That's true."

"I love you," he said. "I want you. And I like the curves." The fact that there was a small baby asleep on his chest during this conversation should have been weird, but it only served to make him hotter, if she was honest.

The milk she'd pumped needed to go in the fridge. She stood and stopped to trail her finger tips along his arm. "I feel like starting anything will mean an immediate end to his nap, but. . . soon."

His grin widened. "Yes, ma'am."

Nodding, she headed for the kitchen, feeling remarkably optimistic about life.


	9. Chapter 9

Steve's friends had been full of advice on being a new Dad. Much of it was useful, but he was coming to realize plenty was actually wrong. Everyone's marriage was different. They'd been pretty unanimous that he shouldn't say a word about sex until Sharon brought it up. She'd need time to recover, and to focus on the baby. He'd taken that a little too seriously, afraid too much touching would seem like he was coming on to her.

Instead he'd managed to make her feel like he didn't want her anymore. He felt terrible. He probably should have realized that going from sex every day to only the chastest of kisses and touches would have some sort of fall out. Thank God she'd found the nerve to say something. Who knows how long they would have circled each other without it.

Two days after their chat she started jogging the trails on the compound. Amanda went with her, in mismatched sweats, with the same look of grim determination she had on when patching one of them up in the field. The next morning Darcy joined them, then Jane and Violet. They really did have awesome friends.

"Darcy is threatening to get us t-shirts," Sharon told him after a week of morning runs had helped her shed the worst of her dark moods. "Gimpy Runner's Club." She'd come back from her run and fed Joey, who'd promptly fallen asleep for his morning nap. He was now happily dozing in his Pod while Sharon made smoothies and Steve cooked eggs.

"She's actually doing really well," Sharon continued, dumping spinach into her blender. "Darcy is. I think she might actually keep it up, as opposed to the rest of them, who are just humoring me. Maybe I can train her up while I work up to my old distances." She dumped almond milk over the whole thing and grinned at him. "Violet's a hell of a sprinter, though. I blame Neil."

"Maybe it's just their genetics." He plated the eggs, and then passed behind her to put the pan in the sink. On the way back he stopped and wrapped and arm around her waist, rocking her a little like he always had. 

She leaned into him with a little hum of approval, swaying with him. "Amanda says when we get over two miles she's bringing her suit."

He kissed her ear. "You can run circles around her. Sam used to love that."

Chuckling, she turned her head to kiss him. "No, he didn't."

He squeezed her a little. "Eggs are ready."

"Yum." She hit the button on the blender and he had to let her go so she could grab their glasses. He put the plates on the table and waited for her to come over with the glasses. She tugged her chair a little closer to him when she sat, so their knees brushed as they ate. He was going to take that as encouragement.

It felt normal, which only make him realize how not-normal it had been. Maybe it was the beginning of things to come, finding new routines and patterns. Finding ways to be Steve and Sharon when they weren't being Mama and Dada.

"You look like you're feeling better," he said.

"I am." She smiled and sipped her smoothie. "Running again - I feel more comfortable in my own skin again. I guess I did sort of define myself by my strength and health and not being able to do it, on top of all the other changes in our life and my body, really threw me."

"While he was in the NICU it was easy to just focus on that. Now we have to figure out what the rest of our lives will look like."

"It's going to be a process," she agreed. He felt her hand on his knee, fingers stroking lightly. "Thanks for being patient." 

He put his hand over hers, tracing circles on the back of her hand with one finger. "I do love you. And you know I realized, I don't know if I've ever had to. . . ask about things. It just seemed to happen, and so frequently I never had cause to, you know, put in a request." He had no idea why, in the heat of the moment, he would say all manner of dirty things, and try pretty much anything. . . yet attempting to discuss sex in the daylight, while dressed and eating a meal, made him feel like a shy teenager. He was probably blushing.

It was probably all right, because her cheeks were a little pink. Though he suspected that was less shyness and more reaction to his touch. "I think we're going to need to do that more. Talk. Negotiate. At least until he's big enough to sleep longer than and hour or two at a clip." She squeezed his leg, fingers wandering higher up the inside of his thigh.

He had to clear his throat. That was _very_ distracting. "Do you want to talk about it. . .now?"

"Steve, I went for a run and breast fed. I have so many endorphins and happy hormones pumping through me I'm damn near high. If there was ever a time to jump back into the pool, now would be it."

"You should, uh. . ." Now all he could pay attention to was her hand. "Finish. Finish your food. Because. . .baby milk, and stuff."

She smiled, eyes dark. Clearly she enjoyed what she was doing to him. She did go back to eating, but she left her hand right where it was. She finished her eggs one handed, then chugged her smoothie. Belatedly, he realized it would be a good idea to eat as well, and scrambled to wolf it down.

He watched her until she was done, and then stood up so fast the table rattled. Sharon flattened a hand to stop it, then used it to brace herself as she stood as well. "I don't think I've ever seen you like this."

He reached for her. "I beg to differ."

She stepped into his arms and he hauled her up against him. Her lids drooped and he heard her take a deep breath of his scent. And then they were kissing and there was nothing chaste or hesitant about it. He wanted to press her back against the counter, or lift her onto it, but he was very conscious of just how much she'd been through. For the moment, he was content just to kiss her.

There was a certain heat to taking it slow, to relishing each step, each stroke. They were relearning each other in a way. He felt her work a hand under his shirt, stroking the skin of his back.

She broke the kiss enough to whisper, "Let's sit. Couch? Bed?"

"Bed," he replied. He grinned. "Can I carry you?"

That seemed to delight her. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Of course."

He lifted her, and carried her straight up the stairs. "FRIDAY," he said. "Let us know if the baby wakes up."

"Acknowledged, Captain."

When he got to their bedroom he set Sharon down gently on the bed, sitting beside her. She leaned in to kiss him briefly, then back again. He saw her straighten her shoulders a little, like she did when she was doing something that made her nervous. Then she tugged her shirt off.

She hadn't bothered to put her sports bra back on after feeding Joey, so it left her fully topless. Her breasts really were magnificent. "Can I touch?" he asked quietly.

She nodded, then amended, "Gently. They're more sensitive."

He cupped one in his palm. He had big hands, but they still overflowed. He'd been with women off all different sizes, but Sharon's had long been his favorite. They were just the perfect size. Still, he'd kind of enjoyed them growing over the course of her pregnancy. "Men like variety," he told. "I admit I like a little New Wife."

To his relief, she chuckled. "This is probably about as big as they can be and tolerate any handling." She kissed him. "But I'm glad you liked him." He stroked his thumb against her nipple and she sucked in a breath, shuddering.

"God, you are gorgeous," he whispered, and then he kissed her again. He broke it only to pull his shirt over his head. Pulling her close, her skin again his felt like the most right thing in the world. And like something he'd desperately missed.

She lay back on the bed and he went with her, still kissing her. Her hands roamed his chest and arms, exploring him like they were new again. He stroked her breasts, gently, like she'd asked, and each touch seemed to make her arch and moan. He made sure to give her breaks, stroking her back and cupping her rear when it seemed like the sensation seemed too much.

Soon she was all but panting, hips rocking in an eager rhythm. Any self-consciousness she might have been feeling was hopefully gone. Or being drowned out by other things.

He pressed a kiss into her sternum. "More?"

Her fingers sank into his hair and she sounded a little desperate when she said, "Please, please."

That was plenty encouragement, so he slid his hand down her body. He could feel her tense when he touched her stomach. It was softer than before the baby, but her skin felt the same. A little lower and she full-on flinched. He lifted his head to see he was half an inch above the scar.

She let out a long, slow breath, looking up at the ceiling. "It's still tender," she said softly, sounding almost apologetic.

He lifted his hand. "I'm sorry. Do you want to stop?"

"No. No, I was enjoying everything up to that." She let out another breath and smiled, stroking his cheek with a hand. "Can you just. . . try to avoid it?"

"I can." He gave her a smacking kiss and sat up, walking over to the dresser and pulling out one of his particularly soft t-shirts. He went back to the bed, folded it over a couple of times, and laid it over the scar. It would keep him from accidentally scratching it with his arm hair or something.

She seemed to relax a little, maybe in relief, and stroked his cheek again when he kissed her. "I'm already wet for you," she whispered, like she was telling him a secret.

He shuddered, the words hitting him like punch. It had been so long, the smallest things could turn him on. Reminded him of the early days. He moved his hand down to feel for himself. She shuddered at the first brush of his fingers and he found that, yes, she was already slick with arousal. Also soft and swollen and sensitive. She moaned as he explored her and she shifted, bending her knees to open herself wider for him.

"I miss this," he whispered, bending to kiss her.

"Me too." They kissed, hot and explicit, while he learned her anew. She had her hand in his hair, stroking over his neck and shoulders. When he swirled a fingertip over her clit she gasped, nails digging into his skin. "Good," she whispered against his mouth. "That's good."

He still knew her, knew just how to touch her. "I want you to feel good."

"Mmm." She closed her eyes, tipping her head back as he stroked her. He loved watching her like this. She was generally so together and contained. She could control a roomful of politicians and military men twice her age. But for him she just melted. Got desperate and lost in her pleasure.

"That's my girl," he murmured. "More?"

"More." Her hips lifted. "I want to come."

He nodded, and kissed her shoulder. He knew better than to get his mouth anywhere near her nipples, but he kissed gently over the skin of her breasts. Then he slid downwards, off the side off the bed. He kissed her navel and she didn't flinch this time. If anything she lifted up to him and widened her legs to give him better access. When he bent and kissed the inside of her thigh, she hooked her leg over his shoulder, like this was a well practiced dance. He supposed for them it was.

Despite the ticking baby time bomb in the other room, he took his time. This was the first time in months he'd been able to touch and taste her like this. He wanted her to enjoy even second, so that it washed away any doubts or fears. He licked her slow and steady, narrowing in on her clit as she started to moan and rock with his rhythm. 

When he very carefully slipped a finger inside her she bucked, whispering, "Fuck, yes," as she clenched around the intrusion. He grinned, inordinately proud of that. He added a second finger and got an encouraging, if incoherent, sound out of her.

After a few strokes of his fingers she started to rock her hips, thrusting back against him like she did during sex. He lifted his head so he could watch her a moment, enjoying the way her body moved, muscle rippling under her skin. She was flushed and shined with sweat and just utterly beautiful.

"Close," she breathed. "Please, I'm close. Make me-" He patted her thigh in encouragement as he put his mouth back on her, and crooked his fingers up.

Her heels dug into his back and her fingers sank into his hair. A few heartbeats of swift, intense attention and then she was shaking with release, pulsing and clenching around his fingers. "Steve, Steve, oh God please, yes."

He looked up to watch her, feeling very proud of himself. He kept his fingers inside her so he could keep feeling it, and climbed back up on the bed. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him deeply before giving him a warm, blissed out smile.

"Thank you," she murmured.

He loved her so much right then it felt like an ache in his chest. "Ah, honey, that was my pleasure." 

She made a little happy noise and kissed him again. He felt her hand brush against his stomach, just above his waistband. "Can I help you out?" she asked, nibbling his lower lip.

Just that light touch, on bare skin, was suddenly the only thing he could feel. He had missed her touching him as much as he'd missed touching her. "If you're. . . up to that."

Pressing a kiss to his collarbone, she tugged his sweatpants down so that his erection sprang free. She grinned. "I think I can rally enough energy." She stroked with just the tips of her fingers. "I've missed how you feel."

He kissed her, intense and deep, and let her nudge him onto his back. "Please," he whispered.

She sat up and curled her fingers around him, stroking him to the tip, then back down. She watched him blatantly, eyes dark. Her teasing changed to firmer strokes quickly and she shifted, scooting down to lounge next to him, propped on one elbow. It let her lean in and take him into her mouth, just the head, but coupled with her hand it was just about perfect. She knew him as well as he did her.

"God," he groaned. "That's it, baby." He'd been fully prepared to stop after her, if that's all she as comfortable with, which probably made this feel even better.

Her hand and mouth moved in tandem, alternating speed and pressure to wind him up. He could feel her pressed against his legs, skin soft and warm against him. She rocked a little with her motions, like she had when he'd been touching her. He reached down and tangled his fingers into her hair, and then lifted his head to watch her swallow him. Then she made a happy humming noise and met his eyes, and he lost it.

She drank him in, then shifted to rest her head on his stomach, sighing in contentment. He just lay there for a while, as his heart pounded and his mind drifted. He stroked her hair absently. "I adore you."

"Mmm. And that wasn't even my best work."

He grinned. "Couldn't prove that by me."

After dropping a kiss on his belly and moved up to rest her head on his shoulder. "It occurs to me this would be an excellent excuse to get some adult toys."

"For speed?"

"Speed. Variety. Stretching." She flattened her palm on his chest and stroked him lightly. "I don't want to get stuck on third base so long I psyche myself out of trying to steal home. A couple of toys might make me feel better about getting back on the horse. So to speak."

"That's brilliant. I knew I married you for a reason."

"I am very smart. All my SHIELD reviews said so."

Before he could reply, the baby's cry made it up the stairs. A second later, FRIDAY said, "Your son is awake."

Sharon laughed and pushed herself upright. "Bless his timing at least."

Steve sat up a little slower, and Joey's yelling increased in volume as they hastily shoved on their clothes. He stopped in the middle to kiss her, absently cupping her still-bare breast and getting a handful of milk. He chuckled and she said, "Yeah, you can't do that while he's crying."

"I really think what your body does and has done is amazing."

When she smiled it looked genuinely happy. She leaned in to kiss him again. "Thank you." She tugged a shirt on. "Let's go see what His Majesty wants."


	10. Chapter 10

Running again was life changing. It was hard not to push herself, though. She wanted to fly down the paths the way she used to. Sharon was pretty sure the only reason Amanda kept meeting her every morning was to make sure she didn't start pushing too hard. 

Darcy showed up regularly, Jane and Violet less so. Ora and Wanda made their way out a few times. Sharon was pretty sure the impromptu Wives Club meetings helped as much as the running.

"So, I've tried an ace bandage this morning," Darcy said, gesturing at her chest. "I think it's helping."

"Maybe Tony could invent a new kind of sports bra," Jane suggested. "Though it would require him ogling you, to some degree."

"I could probably make myself okay with that."

"Nat must have some sort of awesome sports bra," Amanda said. "You'd think."

"How come she never runs with us?" Jane asked. "She's fun."

"Nat runs a six minute mile," Sharon said. She'd run a pace like that once. "She'd lap us."

From behind them, Ora said. "Steve and Sam have some sort of running joke about Steve lapping him, that they've now roped Pietro into, as he's the only person who can lap Steve." She coughed. "Also, for the love of God, slow down." 

They obliged, slowing to a walk. Sharon was starting to feel twinges that she'd been trying to ignore, so it was probably for the best. "I really appreciate you guys coming out," she said.

"Never to early to work off the holiday weight gain," Darcy said. She glugged down some water. "So, as a recent mom, on a scale of piece of cake to building a megalomaniac AI, where would you put having a baby?"

They all stopped to stare at her. "Are you planning-?" Amanda finally asked.

"It's under discussion."

"It's not likely your birth would be as dramatic and scary as Sharon's," Jane said, sounding like this was a continuation of a previous conversation they'd already had.

"I like worst case scenarios. I know odds are I'll pop it out within ten days of my due date after the better part of a day and an enormous epidural. But ten years ago I'd have said the odds of me seeing a potential apocalypse was nil and I've seen, like, three, so. . ." She looked over at Sharon. "Thoughts?"

They started walking again as Sharon thought about the panicked ride to the hospital, all the worry, the days in the NICU and the recent strain on her marriage. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Darcy smiled and scrunched her nose so her glasses would resettle. Then she looked at Amanda. "I need to make an appointment with you."

Amanda sighed and looked skyward. "I knew signing up for the OB course was a good idea."

"You should also talk to Violet," Ora said. "If you're collecting anecdotes. Apparently she had hers natural. Like, no drugs."

"And she says she doesn't have any superpowers," Sharon said.

"I think we all have superpowers," Darcy said. "Just different kinds. Not all paranormal. Not all flashy. But we have them. It's why we're all on this crazy train together."

"That is the only reason I can think of for you to still be sticking around," Wanda said. "With your skillset your could find a job wherever you wanted."

"Eh." She waved a hand. "I'd be bored in a week. No aliens? No lab explosions? What would I _do_ with myself."

"Have babies, apparently," Ora said. "We're going to need some sort of betting pool for next year."

"And Darcy can't run it," Jane added.

"I'll run it." Wanda looked morose. "We will not be adding to the herd anytime soon."

"You don't want to have a baby while he's in med school," Amanda said, reaching to pat her on the arm. "You really don't."

"I know. The reasons are very sound. I don't want to feel like a single mother. But it's hard to wait."

"Does everyone else make it better or worse?" Darcy asked.

Wanda shrugged. "Sometimes one, sometimes the other. I like holding and talking to the babies. But when I go home I think about what it would be like to hold mine, what they'll look like. And that hurts."

"I will almost certainly have one before you," Ora said. "I apologize in advance."

She smiled. "Perhaps having them in the house will be easier. I can help teach them Sokovian and sign language."

Sharon's phone buzzed in her pocket. It was Steve. _I am loathe to bother you, but I have a situation._

Oh, this ought to be good. _Is it a situation that will require a shower and extra load of laundry?_

_We might have to just burn the house._

She sighed. "Sorry, ladies, I need to head back. There appears to have been a containment failure."

"Oooh," Amanda said in sympathy.

"Maybe you should take Darcy with you," Jane piped up.

She glanced at Darcy. "You're welcome to get a glimpse into the awful realities. But mostly 'cause a third set of hands is always nice."

To her surprise, Darcy shrugged. "I'll come help. I saw plenty of bodily fluids in college."

They started jogging back towards the houses and she texted Steve. _I'm on my way and I'm bringing backup._

She let herself in the house, and followed the sound of crying and running water to the kitchen, where Steve was standing at the sink in nothing but a pair of boxer-briefs, trying to wash the baby in the sink.

Behind her, Darcy whistled. "And that's why I volunteered to come."

Sharon had to admit, now that her libido was reengaging, her husband did look nice in his underwear. She let Darcy marvel a moment, then pointed to the trail of clothes that littered the kitchen floor. "Laundry. Please."

"On it."

Steve glanced over his shoulder. "He pooped, and then was so hysterical I was daring to change his diaper he puked, and then when I picked him up to keep him from choking, he pooped again without the diaper. And then peed, like a little fountain. This is a kid who will write his name in the snow one day. I think it's in my hair."

It would be wrong to laugh. Someday, this could be her. She stepped over to the sink. "Go shower, I'll finish bathing him and settle him. Darcy can help me clean. Her clock is ticking, she needs the real life experience."

"Is this like when the boys made me change diapers?" He handed her the slippery, soapy baby.

"Very similar." She carefully cradled Joey and splashed some warm water on his chest and butt, rinsing off the last of the soap. There wasn't a towel handy, so she tugged her t-shirt off and wrapped him up in it, carrying him upstairs to find diapers and a change of clothes. 

In their bathroom she could hear the shower running, and it had just turned off when she emerged from the nursery with a dry, diapered, re-dressed baby. She stopped in the bedroom purely to ogle him when he got out of the shower. She was disappointed he had a full-sized towel around his waist.

Had Darcy not been there, she might have pouted until her gave her a show. Lord, she had missed having a libido.

Steve grinned at her, clearly noticing her gaze. "He looks happier."

"He is. Though I better stick a boob in him before it wears off."

"That would soothe me in a bad mood, too. We have that in common."

"Well, maybe you'll get a reward later. To make up for your bad morning."

His eyebrows went up. "Really now?"

She grinned. "Sort of up to the little private," she said hefting Joey higher. "But let's keep hope alive."

He came close enough to kiss her. "That'll sustain me for a good bit."

"Maybe we can play with some of our new toys," she added, sauntering out of the room.

They had spent a sleepless night of micro feedings taking turns picking out things from a sex toy website. The little brown box had arrived almost a week ago, but they hadn't had a chance to break into it yet. Treating their schedule and recovery hampered sex life as a time to experiment and play helped her not get too tangled up in it.

When she reached the living room she found Darcy had cleaned up the dirty clothes, wiped off the changing table and mopped. She was now sitting on the couch folding one of the half dozen laundry baskets. "Do I get to hold the baby when I'm done?" she asked.

Sharon blinked at her a moment, then sank into her nursing chair. "Yes. In fact, you want me to get Steve back down here with his shirt off again?"

She tilted her head. "I haven't dragged Cal into the storage room for a nooner in a long time. Maybe I just need the inspiration."

"Going to ditch your birth control when you do it?"

"Amanda's office _is_ on the way."

Sharon chuckled, tugging her sports bra up to free her breast enough to feed Joseph. "It is worth it," she said. "Rough start and all."

"It's a big deal. Obviously. But we've been talking about it. It kind of feels like it's time, you know?"

"I do. I think it's important to go with that instinct. Waiting is hard."

Darcy fiddled with the sleeves of her sweater. "Everybody says you're never really ready."

"Maybe not." Sharon looked over at her. "I think you can always find a reason not to. Money or family or circumstances. But in the end you make it work. Because it's worth it. Cal's a good guy, he'll be a good dad. And you'll be an awesome mom. In the end, that's what matters."

"Even if the world keeps almost ending?"

"Even then."

"Cal is much chiller about that sort of stuff than I am. Death. Apocalypse. Etc."

"So is Steve," Sharon admitted. "Though nothing ruins your chill like you baby in danger." She brushed a fingertip over Joey's hair. "The world is full of danger, big and small. All you can do is protect them as best you can. But you can't let it cripple you. Can't let it make your decisions for you."

"I'm also afraid this place will fall apart while I'm on leave."

"That," Sharon said, "Is a distinct possibility."

"It's been hard enough without you."

"You can't let other people's ineptness dictate your decision, either."

Steve came downstairs then, fully dressed and with hair still slightly damp. He came over to kiss her and he smelled good. "How's he doing?"

She glanced down at the baby. "Almost asleep after all that excitement." 

Steve reached down and stroked Joey's forehead, and his little eyes drifted closed. "That's a good boy," he whispered.

Sharon leaned to look at Darcy. "We might need to raincheck the baby snuggles."

She waved her hands, stacking folded laundry into a basket. "I'll hold you to that. For now I think I'll go home. Shower and make doctor's appointments."

"Thank you for the laundry," Steve said. "You have no idea."

"I aim to please," she said. "Call me if it backs up again. I'll bring my iPod and meditate."

"We're totally going to take you up on that," Sharon told her.

She grinned. "And hopefully, at some point, return the favor."

Sharon returned the grin. "Deal."

After she left, Steve sat across from Sharon by the laundry basket. "On the off chance you were interested, I filled the bathtub for you."

She groaned a little. "Oh. I am so very interested." He grinned and reached for the baby, who'd finally unlatched. She handed him over gently, smiling when she saw he was still asleep. Standing, she kissed Steve. "Thank you."

"Go. I'm going to sit down down here and think of you up there in the bath."

"Good." She headed for the stairs. There was a time she might have sauntered but she still had some movement limitations. "I'll be thinking of you while I'm up in it."


	11. Chapter 11

If Steve had had children right after World War Two, he'd have been given the day of his child's birth off—if that—and nothing more. He appreciated the amount of time he was able to take off and be with his son. He enjoyed it more than he'd thought possible. Joey settled something in him. Made him feel at peace. He could probably stay home forever, if he were really honest.

But the world began to intrude. Captain America was their government overseers' favorite figurehead, and they particularly like him being there looking all patriotic at humanitarian missions. Increasingly, they'd also wanted him for PR reasons, which chafed. In December, for example, they'd wanted a photoshoot of him out chopping down a Christmas tree. They'd demanded he bring Sharon and the baby, who was not even allowed out of the house for the winter, and a large argument ensued. He missed the days when the only PR people he had to deal with were Pepper's.

Sharon eventually got on the phone. She seemed to speak idiot and convinced them to let it go just this once. It helped that Amanda conferenced in and threw around words like "pneumonia" and "against medical orders." Having a doctor in your pocket was extremely useful.

"Can you wear a plaid shirt?" Sharon asked. "A red, white, and blue one maybe?"

"I'm going to look like a lumberjack," he replied. Shaving was a hassle and he had decided not to do it while he was on baby leave. Sharon wouldn't allow him to have an actual mountain man beard and keep it trimmed, but it was still less hassle than shaving. Provided a great disguise when he went into town.

Reaching out, she rubbed a palm over his jaw. "I think it's sexy."

"Then, yes, I will wear a patriotic plaid shirt if one can be located." He paused. "Barton has been amassing a collection since we moved up here."

"I'm not entirely sure Clint's shirts would fit you." Now she paused, head tilted. "I am now not entirely sure that's a bad thing. Lemme call Nat."

"It'll probably make the PR people happy. . ."

She laughed and kissed him. "Maybe one of your big cable-knit sweaters." 

"I'm drawing the line at patriotic sweaters."

"That's probably wise." She sighed. "At least it's not tights?"

He put the last bit of the baby laundry he was folding into the basket. "Kind of feels like it though. Lately."

"Yeah." It was nice to know it wasn't just him. "Usually Tony takes some of the PR hits for you. But he's distracted by Pepper and I haven't been there to advocate."

"I know this stuff is what we signed up for. And I didn't used to mind. Maybe I won't mind when he's four and thinks going to chop down a Christmas Tree with Daddy is an awesome Saturday afternoon." For now, he wanted to be home with his son. He supposed that didn't seem patriotic and manly to them. Which gave him an idea. "Oooh, I could use this press opportunity to bring up the topic of this country's abysmal and shameful parental leave policies."

"I think that's a fantastic idea," she told him. "And if that doesn't work, you should spend the next one teaching anti-vaxxers about herd immunity."

"I think everyone on the planet has heard my soapbox about vaccines." Human stupidity continued to amaze him. "Measles was one of the times I got Last Rights." Sharon knew that, she'd heard him go on about this one to many times.

"That fight you had on Fox News with that woman from Marin was probably the hottest Amanda ever found you."

"I really don't want to hear about Amanda finding me hot." He picked up his basket. "Go call about the shirt, I'll put this stuff away."

"Yes, dear." She kissed his cheek and stood, pulling her phone out and dialing. He went upstairs, asking FRIDAY to close Joey's BabyPod so he could put the clothes away without waking him from his nap. His kid went through more costume changes than the cast of a Broadway musical.

He stacked the clothes into Joey's dresser, then stopped in his and Sharon's room to grab their hamper. Most of the world probably wouldn't believe Captain America being domestic. But it was these moments of normalcy, of being Steve Rogers, that he lived for.

With the washing machine humming along, he found Sharon in the kitchen, making grilled cheese sandwiches. "Nat says she'll bring some options over later."

He slid his arms around his waist. "How much later?"

She relaxed into his hold. "After dinner, I think she said. Though I admit to not knowing what time it is right now."

"Three-thirty." He kissed her ear. "The baby is asleep."

Without missing a beat, she clicked the stove off and turned to kiss him properly. "Upstairs?"

"Mmm." He'd honestly expected her to turn him down—but she asked him to ask, so he did. And now he was slipping his hand under her shirt to touch her warm skin. "We do have that box."

She nibbled lightly on his jaw. "We do. I'd be interested in opening that box up."

Steve groaned and lifted her up, heading for the stairs. He got them all the way to the top before the baby started to cry. Sharon sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "Raincheck."

He set her down slowly, reluctantly. "Indeed."

"Next time, we should neglect the chores and go straight to the sex."

"I don't disagree." He kissed her. "Why don't you go finish the grilled cheese, and I'll get the baby and bring him down."

"Sounds like a plan." She rubbed his arm affectionately and headed back down the stairs.

He went into the nursery to get Joey out of his pod and changed his diaper. He fussed a bit but settled down when Steve tucked him against his chest. The small, warm weight was the most perfect thing in the world.

Sharon had their sandwiches plated and on the table by the time he got downstairs. They took turns eating and holding the baby. "We trained him to prefer this position, you know," Steve said.

She laughed. "I suppose so. Not much choice there."

"We should get one of those baby holder things Violet has." He had no idea what it was called, but Violet tied Asima onto her chest regularly, and he'd seen her with Neil on her back in a second one sometimes.

"She gave me one for my shower, but I wasn't sure if he was big enough for it yet."

"He's past his due date." Steve patted his back. "He's getting baby-sized."

"That's true," she conceded. "He just. . . feels tiny."

"He'll probably still feel tiny when he's taller than you."

"That is also true." She smiled and reached over to pat the baby's back. "I'll borrow Violet's stool."

The mental picture made him grin, Joey grown and lifting Sharon off her feet to hug. Then he sighed. "Assuming he is, of course. Amanda made her predictions based on him being full term." This was a line of thinking he'd deliberately avoided over the last couple of months.

"He's healthy," Sharon said. "Good lungs, no complications. We continue to keep the plague away and there's no reason to worry."

"I know. I suppose worry is normal."

"I think it is. So my mommy sources tell me. Violet is a nice reality check. At least you don't have a giant green rage monster in your head adding to the chorus of fear."

"I think he's perfect. The possibility that there might be something that would make the world see him otherwise unsettles me."

"The world is not what it was," she told him. "Spindly little guys with big brains and your tenacity make billions of dollars."

He chuckled. "I admit I had not thought of that."

"I am here to unwind you," she said with a smile, standing to clear the table.

As she always was. He stood up, still holding the baby, to kiss her. "Knew I married you for a reason."

"I assumed it was the sex."

"Mmm, that too."

She giggled and rinsed the dishes as Joey started to fuss a bit. "Ah, time for second breakfast."

The following day, Steve went to cut down a damn Christmas tree for the cameras. Natasha found him a lumberjack-worthy shirt, but convinced him to shave. "If you've got working cover, don't blow it out of laziness," she'd told him. He conceded the point, and looked nice and Captain America-y while swinging his axe.

When he got home, he found Sharon had hauled out the box of Christmas decorations, and dressed Joey in a candy-cane striped sleeper. 

"I thought it would get us in the spirt," she offered. "And he looks like an adorable little elf."

"He does." Steve didn't know if Joey looked as adorable to others as he did to him and Sharon, but he didn't entirely care. She stepped back as he wrestled the tree into the house. It wasn't heavy, at least not for him, but it was awkward.

She had already moved an end table and chair to make space for it in their living room. So he set it up and went to change out of his ridiculous outfit. When he came back she had Joey strapped to her chest in a carrier and was winding lights around the tree. He did a double take and realized she had taken her shirt off and had just a nursing bra on under the carrier.

"Is it completely wrong of me to find that just a tiny bit hot?"

"Hell, half the reason I put him in this was to get him to sleep so we could fool around."

He came over to kiss her temple, and keep wrapping the lights beyond her reach. "I endorse this plan."

She let him take over the lights, going back to the boxes to start putting ornaments up. On her last trip to the doctor she'd stopped at some boutique and gotten a couple of "My First Christmas" ones for Joey. They also had a collection of Captain America themed ornaments that people had given them over the years. It was kind of odd to put them on the Christmas tree, but it made them laugh. 

About an hour later they had a fully decorated Christmas tree twinkling with lights. Sharon glanced down, peeking into the carrier. "Out like a light."

"How do we get him from that into his bed?"

She held up a finger. "Violet showed me a trick." She crooked that finger at him and he followed her upstairs and into Joey's room. The Stark BabyPod hovered in the corner. Sharon went to stand beside it and unhooked the back of the carrier, supporting the baby with one hand. Then she leaned down, settling him into the pod and slipped out of the carrier, leaving it and the baby in the cradle.

Straightening, she watching Joey a moment to make sure he was still sleeping, then lifted her arms in a victory V.

They tiptoed into the hallway, and he wrapped his arms around her. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she admitted. "But I feel like that's just the new norm."

He gave her a little tug. "Come on. I'll tuck you in."

She walked down the hall with him, grinning. "All alone?"

"I you ask nicely, I might tell you a bedtime story."

"An exciting one? About Agent Carter and her sexy boyfriend?"

In their bedroom, he peeled back the covers, and then yanked his sweater and t-shirt over his head. "Any story you'd like."

"Does it have a happy ending?" she teased, tugging the nursing bra off and leaving her topless. Her breasts were in fine form again, looking almost fake.

"All of my bedtime stories have happy endings."

Grinning, she closed the distance between them and yanked him down for a kiss. He ran his hands down her back and pulled her closer. They didn't do this nearly as often anymore, and he missed it. He didn't know if it was the rarity or just the changes she'd gone through with the pregnancy, but her skin felt softer under his hands.

She made a little noise in her throat, arching into him firmly. So that every inch touched. "Can I pick you up?" he asked.

She giggled a little. "Of course." He didn't scoop her up like a romantic carry, but cupped her thighs and lifted her so she'd wrap her legs around him. It made her gasp against his mouth, She wrapped her arms around him, as well, holding herself to him. 

He carried her over to her side of the bed, and set her down on it. Carefully he took off the rest of her clothes, then his. "How should I start? Once upon a time? It was a dark and stormy night?"

"Mmm." Her fingertips trailed over his bare chest, tracing lines. "How about 'Dear Penthouse. . .'"

"Dear Penthouse," he repeated. He bent his head to kiss along her collarbone. "I came home from work one day, and my wife's boobs had grown four cup sizes."

She laughed. "Probably skip the part about them leaking randomly."

"I can't touch them," he said, resting his hand on her hip and sliding it up over the curve of her waist. "It's torture."

"Pretend it's a strip club." His hand wandered down her hip and thigh and she closed her eyes. "With extremely arbitrary rules."

He stroked her thigh and she opened her legs for him. "This would be against the rules," he told her, cupping his hand over her sex.

"Mmm, almost certainly."

She wasn't entirely wet, but he could work on that. The way this went for them now had shifted, and he found he kind of liked it. The two of them figuring this out all over again. "I'm probably going to break all the rules."

"Well you're a VIP. I'll let it slide."

That made him laugh. "I'll make it worth you while." He kissed her mouth and then rolled off her so he could reach his nightstand where they had some of their toys stashed. Most of them they hadn't had a chance to try yet. He knew vibrators existed in his first life, but they seemed to have been large and loud and reminiscent of kitchen equipment. Now they made them small enough to fit over the tip of his finger.

They'd gotten a little carried away that night they'd gone shopping.

"You look like a kid in a candy store," Sharon teased. Apparently, he'd been perusing long enough for her to prop herself up on an elbow to watch him. "Too many options?"

"Maybe." He picked up one that she'd wanted that he'd made fun of, because it was a horrifying shade of fluorescent magenta. She laughed when she saw it. "See, I do love you."

"I never doubted it." He fiddled with the controls and it turned on, making both of them jump. Sharon started laughing harder.

"Come here," he said, pulling her close. He guided her to turn and tuck against him, his body spooned behind hers. He lifted on of her legs so he had space, and pressed the vibe against her. "We should go to our room downstairs," he said. "You can dance for me. Make your own rules."

She moaned and shuddered in his arms. It took her a moment to speak and he pressed his advantage, moving the vibe against her so it wouldn't get too intense. He kissed her hair, smiling at the way her breathing changed.

"I have missed breaking things," she finally managed to gasp out. 

"We could get some cheap furniture just to smash. Some cheap clothes I can rip off you because I can't wait any longer."

Her fingers stroked his arm, then she reached back to clutch at him. "I have some maternity clothes I don't want anymore," she offered.

He moved the vibe in slow circles. "I want a skirt I can tear in half."

She shuddered again and caught her breath, like she might answer. The words turned into a moan and she started to rock against his hand and the vibrator, breath coming in sharp pants. She was grinding against him, too, and it was killing him. "That's my girl, that's my girl," he whispered to her.

Whimpering, she started to shake, gasping out his name as she arched against him. He kissed her shoulder, holding her as she rode it out.

When she'd calmed she slumped against him with a sigh. "Damn."

He turned off the vibe and lifted it so he could look at it. "I concede this was not a bad purchase."

"Yeah, that's a keeper." Very carefully, she rolled to face him. After a long, heady kiss she said, "I think I might be ready to. . . try."

Both of his eyebrows went up. "Really?"

"Yes. I don't promise anything, but we could try. See what happens."

"I'm always a fan of trying things." He bent his head to kiss her. And then the baby cried.

She sighed and thumped her head on the pillow. "Dammit."

He kissed her temple. "I'll get him."

"Thank you," she said with a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Don't." Climbing up was still a little uncomfortable, and she looked _so_ tempting. "Though I may leave you to feed him and go take a shower."

"I understand completely."

He went and got the screaming baby, changed his diaper, and brought him back in to Sharon. She'd arranged the covers around herself so she was less tempting but better able to nurse. Joey tucked against her happily and began to drink away.

She gave Steve a sympathetic smile. "Next time."

He kissed her on the mouth. "I'll think up the rest of the story while in the shower."

"I will enjoy thinking about that," she told him with a grin.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update since I forgot Monday.

Joey’s Winter Lockdown made seeing Sharon's family for Christmas a bad idea, and even the Starks’ big dinner something they should avoid. Small children were germy, and they had a lot. So for Joey's first Christmas, it was just the three of them.

There wasn't much one could get a three month old. Sharon splurged on a few new rattles and music toys and clothes that would hopefully last him the next few months, plus a couple of soft blankets. She and Steve exchanged the usual assortment of clothes, books and personal items. After the hectic pace of the last few months it was actually rather nice to have a quiet day at home with the snow falling.

"My mother agreed to come up alone for New Years," Sharon told Steve as the baby snoozed on his chest. "So we can go to the party, and she can fuss over her grandbaby.”

"It'll be nice. Get dressed up, talk to adults. . . Maybe even dance."

"Baby, you had me at talk to adults."

"I have something for you," he said. "It's not entirely a Christmas gift, but I bought it the weekend before Joey was born, when we all went to a jewelry store to provide Pietro cover to buy an engagement ring." He lifted his hand, and there was a necklace dangling from his fingers, a chain and a row of purple-blue stones. "It would have been his birthstone if he'd made it to December."

It was probably the residual hormones, but Sharon felt herself choke up as she reached out to take the necklace. "It's beautiful."

"I didn't put it under the tree, because I wasn't sure if it would upset you. It was supposed to be the 'push present'. But I think what you went through was a hell of a lot harder than pushing, so. . ." he shrugged.

She laughed, shaking her head. "Yeah, probably. Either way, I love it."

"Well, consider it from both of us." He rubbed Joey's back and the baby made a contented noise in his sleep.

After fastening it around her neck, she scooted closer and rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you both. I love you."

He kissed the top of her head. "Can I put in a formal request for New Years Eve, for you to wear that and nothing else?"

"To the party?" she teased.

"It would certainly be a show stopper."

She laughed. "Yes. We'll make some naked necklace time a goal for the evening."

"Good." With the same deftness he'd handled asking her out—and getting rejected—long ago, Steve had figured out how to regularly tell her he wanted her, without making her feel like he was trying to immediately get in her pants.

As a reward, she tipped her head up and kissed him, cuddling close. "Merry Christmas, Steve."

Her mother drove up from Virginia at the end of the week. She passed FRIDAY's scans and was overjoyed to hang out with her grandson. Sharon spent the afternoon of New Year's Eve in her bedroom, discovering that while she was back to her pre-pregnancy weight, none of her nice dresses fit.

She spent an inordinate amount of time sitting on her bed telling herself she didn't have to cry over this. That she was not going to refuse to go because she had nothing to wear. She lost the first battle, because sometimes you needed a good cry and acute disappointment was one of those times. Then she started formulating a plan. "FRIDAY? Are any of the women in Avengerville my current dress size?"

"Mrs. Bennett is likely the closest. Shall I contact her?"

"Yes, please."

There were some beeping sounds, and then Darcy's voice. "Hey, what's up?"

"None of my dresses fit. Do you have any I can borrow?"

There was a slight pause. "Boobs, huh?"

Sharon sighed. "Among other things. I feel like everything shifted around."

"Got it. I'll bring some options over."

Thank God for good friends. "I love you Darce."

She was there 10 minutes later, Sharon heard her downstairs scrubbing in. Steve carried an armload of dresses upstairs for her. "Hi, I brought everything that's forgiving, and spanx."

Sharon could see Steve starting to ask and cut him off with a hand across her throat. "Put the dresses on the bed and leave us."

He quirked an eyebrow, but did as she asked and ducked out. A moment later the door opened, and he said, "Hey, I love you." He shut the door before she could reply.

Darcy pointed and arched a brow. "He's being reassuring, " Sharon explained. "But I continue to like keeping a few mysteries in place."

"No, I feel that. Cal likes it when I get done up, and I always throw him out of the room."

Some things were universal. She went over to look at the dresses. "I really appreciate this."

"You remember at your baby shower, we got talking about post pregnancy stuff? Amanda said how she eventually got back to the same size but needed new pants anyway, Pepper got back into her jeans before her first checkup, and Violet had to burn her entire wardrobe between Ada and Neil? I am pretty sure _I_ will be door number three. But I think you're number one." 

"Yeah, I know," she said with a sigh. "I shouldn't let it bother me."

"You shouldn't." She held up a dress for inspection. "You made a fucking person."

Darcy had an excellent way of putting things. Also excellent taste in dresses. "Let me wiggle the spanx on and I'll give it a try." Darcy forked over the spanx, and then helped her into the dress. The zipper glided up nicely, she didn't even have to hold her breath.

It was flattering and she didn't bulge anywhere or squeeze uncomfortably. And it was even blue, so her necklace would match. "This works."

"You need killer heels. Steve's tall, you can do it."

"Shoes I have." They dug through her closet and found a pair of silver sandals that would probably be killing her by the end of the night but Steve would probably enjoy carrying her home. Darcy stuck around to help her do her hair, then rushed home to get ready herself while Sharon did her make-up and jewelry. 

Steve knocked on the door. "Can I come in and get my suit?"

"Yeah, sorry. Come on in."

He came into the doorway of the bathroom. "Wow," he breathed.

The last hour melted away and she looked over her shoulder to grin at him. "Hi."

He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and bending his head to kiss her shoulder. "Let's skip the party," he murmured.

She giggled. "We'll scandalize my mother."

He moved his mouth up the side of her neck. "We had a kid, I think the secret's out about what we get up to." Sharon leaned into him, nuzzling his cheek and winding an arm up around his neck.

"You're very tempting," she murmured.

"Mmm, so are you." He kissed her ear, and whispered, "We don't have to stay long."

"We're new parents. We'll be way too tired to stay up till midnight."

He gave her a grin full of desire and promise, and went to get dressed. She headed downstairs once she finished her make up. If she watched him dress they really wouldn't leave. Her mother complimented her and she cuddled Joey for a while until Steve was ready.

*

Because of the cold and ice, he called one of the electric cars to take them over to the Stark house. Steve had hoped the could just sip and socialize a little and then go back home, but Natasha and Maria Hill swarmed on her to pick her brain about work things. That fall, while their world had narrowed to the NICU and then the intense first weeks at home, the political party controlling congress had turned. The newcomers were full of ignorance and bombast, representing people who were scared of the way the world was changing, and scared of the plethora of real and perceived threats popping up. And they felt differently about the Avengers.

Steve left them to it, joining some of the men by the bar. Stark held a drink out to him. "They didn't wait long to pounce."

"I've heard rumblings but have tried to avoid it all. The baby is enough work as it is."

"I think effort has been made to keep you guys out of it. Respect the maternity leave and all that."

"But we showed up, so now it's open season?"

He shrugged. "For the next hour or two?"

Steve rubbed his forehead. "Now I really wish we'd stayed home." But she actually looked happy talking to them. It was as animated as he'd seen her in a while.

"Pepper went back early, too," Tony said. "So did Doc."

"Doc did a reasonably low stress job that was her life's work two floors below the nursery." He looked over at him. "And Pepper is a workaholic." 

"And Sharon isn't?"

"We've always managed to have some sense of balance. She already decided she was going to go back early, I just didn't think it would be this soon."

Stark waved a hand. "She's probably dying for adult conversation, even if it is work related. By two months everyone's looking for something to discuss that isn't nap length or poop volume. And you two have had to be more isolated than most."

And Sharon more isolated than him. "You're tell me to stop worrying."

"Yeah. If she goes home and stays up all night writing emails and making calls then, yeah, rein her in. But right now Nat and Hill are reminding her that she's smart and competent and that people other than the baby need her. That's easy to forget as a new mother."

"It's harder than people let on. I mean, all you hear about is sleep depravation. I can do without sleep so I thought I'd be fine. But there are so many layers of emotional mess."

"And that's not getting into all the body issue stuff they get."

"Yeah. Tonight needed a visit from Darcy with a pile of dresses and suspiciously red eyes. And the scar really bothers her.” Bucky had told him, not long after Joey’s birth, that Amanda's was so low and small neither of them noticed it anymore. Sharon’s ran up to her navel and made her very self conscious, but he honestly didn’t mind it. It was a battle scar like any other. He shrugged. "I think she's gorgeous. She disagrees." He glanced over at him. "That gets better, right?"

Stark swigged a drink and his gaze wandered over to where Pepper was standing. "It takes time. Things have to readjust. Pepper doesn't have a scar but, well, I do. It's hard to have something be that different about your body."

Steve looked at him. "Well. When you put it that way. . . I am intimately familiar with waking up in a different body."

"There you go," Stark said with an all-encompassing gesture. "I mean you went up the totem pole, but I'm guessing it still took you a minute to get used to the new guy in the mirror."

"Somedays I still don't think it looks like me," he said honestly.

Stark clink his glass against Steve's. "I've been there, too."

He sighed. "It does get better eventually." It was half statement, half question.

"Everything gets better eventually. One way or another."

Steve took a sip of his drink, and watched the room for a few moments. "At some point, you and I should have a conversation. About what happens if things get ugly."

Stark met his gaze a moment, then nodded and drained his glass. "I'll bring the liquor."

Steve made his way around the room—it really was nice to be able to socialize after so much time spent in the house focused on the baby. Sharon's mother texted pictures and updates to them at regular intervals.

Sharon met up with him after about an hour or so, smiling and energetic. She tucked her arms around his waist and leaned into him. "Having fun?"

"It's nice to see people. How are you doing?"

"Good. Maybe a little overstimulated, I'm not used to crowds. And I think our prediction of not making it till 12 is accurate."

"Tired?"

"Getting there." She rested her head on his shoulder. "You?" 

He rubbed her back, wondering if he should make peace with not getting to peel her out of that dress tonight. "My relationship with sleep isn't anything people should be comparing themselves to."

She chuckled. "That's true." She checked her watch. "Almost ten. I want to make another half round. Meet you at the doors in like twenty?"

He kissed the top of her head. "I'll see you there."

He said his goodbyes to Sam and Bucky and a few others, some of whom teased him for leaving so early. Sharon took a little more than twenty minutes, but when she did show up she immediately tucked herself into him. "Ready to go, Cap."

He smiled, and held out her coat for her so she could put it on. "I have one of the cars outside."

"You are known for your forward thinking."

He helped her into the car and it started down the street. "Did you have a good night?" he asked.

"I did, actually. Despite the forty minutes of shop talk Nat and Maria pinned me into."

"Did they need to pick your brain?" Their house wasn't far, and they pulled up in front of it.

"Yeah. Advice on how to deal with a couple of Congressmen I've faced off with before. And compromise suggestions. Their meetings with the new House start in a couple days."

He looked at her before opening the door. "Do you want to be at them?"

She made a face. "Not really. I mean, I would probably help. But it will be stressful and demoralizing and ruffle every single one of my feathers. None of which I need right now."

Steve didn't admit it, but her answer made him happy. He wasn't ready for the real world quite yet. Even though he knew it was coming. He opened his door and then went around to open hers.

Tucking her arm though his, she cuddle close while they walked up to the door. "Fortunately, Amanda is on my side so she'll keep them at bay."

"Good," he said. "Joey still needs his Mommy around full time."

She smiled and reached to open the door. The house was quiet and her mother was sitting in the living room with a book. "You two are back early," she said with a smile.

"It was a lot of noise and crowd," Steve said. "Is he asleep?"

"Like an angel,” she confirmed. Drank about four ounces and conked right out."

Beside him, Sharon sighed. "He'll take a bottle from everyone but me."

"Fresh is always better," Steve said. "I'm going to go check on him, if you guy want to chat about lady things."

"I'll meet you upstairs," Sharon said, kissing his cheek.

The baby was sound asleep in his pod, and Steve just stood over him for the longest time, watching him sleep. Sometimes he was struck by how perfect and peaceful he was when he slept. He did resist the nearly overwhelming urge to touch him—Sharon would kill him if he woke him up.

When Joey shifted and resettled, Steve backed out of the room for fear of disturbing in. He found Sharon already in their room, taking pins out of her hair. "Mom said she'd get up if Joey woke at night and only get us if she couldn't resettle him. FRIDAY has been informed."

He shrugged out of his suit jacket. "That was nice of her."

She looked at him uncertainly for a moment, then rolled her shoulders. "I recall you having a request regarding the display of my necklace."

He walked over to her. "You said you were tired. I didn't want to be, you know, that guy."

"I was tired of the party and the people. Not you."

He reached out, and ran his knuckles down her arm. "Well then. Necklace, nothing else."

She grinned, eyes darkened. "Yes, sir, Cap, sir." Then she turned, sweeping her hair to the side to offer him her zipper.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter to go :)

There was something very satisfying about seeing Steve's visible sigh of relief. She'd been worried there for a moment, letting her own doubts get the better of her. Now they were standing in front of a mirror, in full light, and she was letting him undress her. He probably had no idea how much of a leap that was.

"FRIDAY," he said as he slid the zipper down. "Put one some kind of white noise, please. And romantic lighting."

The sound of ocean waves crashing came through the ceiling speakers and the lights dimmed, taking on a slight pinkish hue. Sharon glanced up. "Remember when we had to turn our own lights on and off like heathens?"

"I remember not having electricity," he replied, pushing the dress off her shoulders very slowly.

"Always gotta one up me, huh?"

"We are nothing if not competitive." She dropped her arms so he could slide it to the floor. Beneath it she was wearing her nicest (but still unexciting) nursing bra and spanx—which actually did a great job of hiding the scar. All Steve seemed to notice were the stockings she'd worn for him.

His hands skimmed down her sides and she reached back to unhook her bra, letting it fall. She saw him swallow hard and it warmed her to her toes. He really had been so good, even when she knew it had to be killing him.

Hooking her thumbs in the elastic of the spanx, she turned to nuzzle his cheek. "Just the necklace, you said?"

"Maybe the stockings," he said. "No. I want to touch every inch of you."

She smiled and stepped away, peeling her various foundation garments off with as much grace as she could manage. She didn't think even Darcy could make wriggling out of spanx sexy, but maybe this was where a long dry spell worked in her favor. He watched her raptly, stripping off the rest of his suit as quickly as he could.

When she was naked save for the necklace she stood at the end of the bed and waited, glad he'd turned the lights down. She focused, instead, on how very good he looked as one piece of clothing after another hit the ground.

"Can I inquire as to this evening's menu?" he asked, stalking towards her.

Making an effort not to look nervous, she said, "I think we should go for the main course."

He turned her face up and kissed her gently. "I miss that," he whispered.

"Me too," she said softly.

"We do have all night, apparently," he said, sliding his arms around her and pulling her closer, until she tucked against his bare chest. "We'll figure it out." He nuzzled her hair. "All of it."

"Mmmhmm." She tipped her face up and he kissed her again, this time deeper. His hands stroked her back and sides, exploring, soothing. One upside to all of this was they had learned a great deal about foreplay. She curled her hands up behind his neck, holding herself tight against him. They just kissed like that, taking their time. It reminded her of that very first night—well, day—when he'd shown up at her door and declared life was too short to wait.

The kisses slowly grew more urgent and she groaned, relaxing as her body responded to him. Steve was always saying she helped him get out of his head and stop worrying. Maybe it was time to take her own advice. She let her hands roam him, tracing every arc and line of his body.

He lifted her up, as easily as if she weighed nothing, and then put and knee on the bed so he could lay her down. He broke the kiss and loomed over her, one hand reaching out to touch the necklace.

She grinned, lifting a hand to stroke the back of his. "Everything you hoped?"

"You know, I don't even see it," he replied, dipping his head to kiss her again.

"You're a sweet talker, Steve Rogers," she murmured on his mouth.

He chuckled, kissing his way down her throat. "You always think I have mojo that I don't."

She ran her fingers through his hair. "Maybe it only works on me."

He kissed her shoulder, her collarbone, the tops of the swells of her breasts. "You're the only one for me anyway, so I suppose that's okay."

The skin of her breasts tightened in a way she now identified with non sexy things. "Careful," she reminded him as he kept moving down her body.

"We're going to have a boob party when he weans," Steve muttered against her ribcage.

She laughed. "What is _that_ going to entail?"

"I don't know. I've got plenty of time to think it up." He kissed her stomach, and then deftly dodged the scar. This was better than the beginning. How well they knew each other, how perfectly they fit. He tugged her legs open deliberately and she felt the heat of his breath on her center a moment before his mouth came down on her.  
 She closed her eyes, tipping her head back on the pillow. He was so very good at this. At least half the time lately he'd done it and gotten nothing in return, thanks to interruptions—with not a hint of complaint or hesitation. So she really could completely relax, and let the night unfold on its own.

The climax built slow and steady and she stroked his hair and reveled in it. When things began to tighten and twist inside she lifted up to him, fingers clenching as the first waves of pleasure began to ripple through her. She lost touch with everything for a moment, unable to do anything but feel. When it finally faded, she heard him mutter, "I think you pulled out some of my hair."

Forcing her finger to relax, she winced. "Sorry."

He grinned, crawling back up her body. "I have a high pain tolerance."

"But I like your hair," she teased, ruffling it affectionately.

"How are you feeling?" he asked carefully.

"Warm and happy."

He cleared his throat. "I mean, about. . ." he made a vague hand gesture.

She wound her arms around his shoulders and tugged him down for a kiss. "Still very much in favor."

He let out breath, a little mix of a sigh and a groan. "Good."

"I think you probably need to drive, though. Ab strength is still a work in progress."

Steve kissed her mouth. "We can do this literally any way you like. At all."

For a few moments she just kissed him, getting lost in it to ground herself. "Just like this, then." He didn't say anything, his hand sliding down her side, over her hip and under her thigh, gently pulling her leg up over his hip. She shifted and cradled him with her thighs. On habit and muscle memory their bodies fit together perfectly.

With conscious effort she kept herself relaxed as he slid slowly inside. There was no pain, just the feeling of stretching around him. Her breath caught in her throat and she shuddered as he sank deep inside.

He rested his forehead on hers. "Okay?"

She nodded, grinning a little. "Just perfect." So he pulled back, and pushed back in. She gasped because it felt good, and his whole body tensed.

"Good noise," she mumbled, stroking his hair. "Keep doing that."

He looked down at her for a moment, then grinned. "Say please."

 Kissing him again, she sucked his lower lip into her mouth. "Please, baby." He groaned and thrust harder, like it used to be. She didn't know if she could get him to unwind entirely—and she probably didn't want him to this time—but it was a start and, God, did it feel good.

They moved together and it was like old times. He felt familiar and it made her body feel familiar, too. As good as it felt, and as happy she was it had worked, she could tell she wasn't going to get another orgasm out of the night. So when his breathing started to quicken and his hips got more urgent, she kissed him and whispered, "It's okay. Come for me."

That got her a stubborn jaw clench. "Fuck. I can. . ." He trailed off, not even able to finish the thought. She could feel the fine tremors his muscles, and didn't doubt he'd wait all night if she asked him to.

If it kept going much longer she was going to start getting sore, which was not how she wanted to end the evening. Time to call out the big guns. She stroked her hands down his sweat-slick back. "It's not gonna happen for me, but I'm enjoying being close to you. I want to feel it, baby." He closed his eyes and shuddered, so she whispered, "Please," and felt him break.

She held him tightly, kissing his jaw and throat as he shook and sank down on top of her. Sighing happily, she buried her face in his hair. 

"I adore you," he mumbled. "More than I have ever enjoyed anything."

Ruffling his hair gently, she kissed his temple. "You're the best husband a girl could ask for." 

He lifted his head. "You okay?"

"I am just perfect."

"I'm sorry you didn't come. I should have—"

"You did exactly what I asked of you," she said, tapping his mouth with a finger. "Sometimes it's just not going to happen. Even for women who haven't just had a baby. I didn't want to fake it and I didn't want you to stop without getting off yourself."

"I want you to enjoy yourself."

"I did! I had one at the beginning and enjoyed being connected to you."

He sighed, apparently accepting that. He stroked her hair off her forehead. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She gave him a squeeze. "Thank you."

He sighed deeply. She liked that he hadn't moved, that he stayed inside her. "This really has been a hell of a year, hasn't it?"

"It has," she agreed. "But it's only got a few minutes left."

"You want to turn the TV on and watch the ball drop?"

"That sounds like an awesome way to end the evening."

So that's what they did, curled up and tucked in their bed, just the two of them, watching the fireworks burst and the ball slide down in times square. Steve got up to get the baby when they heard him cry, and Sharon immediately started to leak milk onto the sheets. He tucked the both of them to his side while she nursed. "Happy New Year."

She looked from him to Joey and smiled. Her boys. There really was no other way she'd rather ring out the year.


	14. Chapter 14

Much to Steve's joy, New Years Eve ended up the turning point in their uncertain post-baby sex life. There was still the baby, still the milk hazard, still the sleep deprivation and completely new patterns. But it was far closer to normal than it had been. They even managed to get down to their "exercise room" in the basement one Saturday when Joey took a particularly long nap.

Sharon stretched luxuriously, then tugged one of the quilts they'd brought down over herself. "Those core muscles exercises are really helping."

He kissed her shoulder. "I noticed."

She grinned and stroked a hand through his hair. "How you doin' baby?"

"Better than I was," he said honestly.

Her expression softened and she slid her hand down to rub his back. "It was rough there for a while."

"For both of us. None of this was how it was supposed to be."

"Yeah." She pressed a kiss to his temple. "I think we're on the up swing, though."

FRIDAY chimed above them. The room had no sensors, just a speaker. "The baby is awake."

"The naps are getting longer," Sharon commented, climbing to her feet.

"Does that mean some day the night sleeping will get longer?"

"The baby books assure me it does."

They got their clothes back on, and Sharon went upstairs to feed him. Steve went into the kitchen to put on dinner. She joined him half an hour later, Joey on her shoulder. "Look, Dada's making spaghetti. That looks yummy." Now well over three months old, Joey was starting to get more interactive and interested in the world, which was helping their moods as well.

He gave a big toothless grin, and Steve grinned right back. "Some day you'll get a bowlful, too. Most of it will probably end up on the floor."

"And in his hair."

"Undoubtedly," he said as he began stirring cream into the sauce. The phone rang, and he said, "FRIDAY, patch it through. Hey, you're on speaker," he said to whomever it was.

"Hey, it's Nat," came from the ceiling. "You got a second or are you covered in poop or something?"

"Poopsplosions don't happen as often as people make it sound." The sauce needed more garlic.

"I don't believe that's true at all. But on topic, how are your PR skills?"

He sighed. "Wasn't the stupid tree cutting enough?"

"Regrettably our brand new Congress is less easily swayed by acts of lumber jack. They're making noise about being given the run around. I hate to give in, but I feel like bringing a big strong politically hard to argue with man down with us might even the odds."

"They want me to come down and. . .what? Wave the shield around and talk about how much I love America?"

"I was thinking a suit and more. . . reassuring grandpa, but I'm open to other options."

"Steve's the wrong choice," Sharon piped up.

"I am all ears," Nat said.

"Politicians find Steve really polarizing. They'll see bringing him down there as a stunt, which it is."

"Who do you suggest, then?"

Steve tuned them out as they chatted, finishing his sauce and tossing the pasta into the pot. When it was done, they seemed to have come to some sort of consensus.

"I miss you," Nat said with a sigh. "You're better at this than me."

He glanced over to see Sharon looking a little sad. "I miss it, too."

"We're here whenever your ready," she replied. "I'll let you guys get back to your dinner."

Steve was mixing the pasta and sauce before pouring it onto two plates. "Thanks, Nat," he said. "Good luck."

Sharon echoed his sentiment and they said their goodbyes as he brought the food to the table and FRIDAY disconnected the call.

"Delicious as always, Steve," she said after her first few bites.

"You want to go back?" It was hanging out there, they might as well talk about it.

She didn't respond immediately. "Not full time. But they're floundering without me and the politicians are gaining momentum." She looked at him. "They have some very scary things they'd like to do and they need someone to stand in their way."

"Then you should go," he said without hesitation.

Her brows arched. "Really? No argument?"

Steve sighed. "If you were going back to your job as a CIA agent or something, yes, I'd probably have objections. I am not _happy_ that this is happening. But I have also seen, with my own two eyes, what happens when the people in power decide some small group of people who are different are to blame for everything that's wrong with the world."

"It wouldn't need to be full time. I can probably use the new-mother thing to do meetings on my terms. Dragging a new mom out of maternity leave can be spun in my favor."

"And a sign of how seriously we're taking this."

"That too." She ate a few more bites and leaned back, bouncing Joey. "One day a week in DC for face-to-face stuff. Very strict phone and video conference availability. Get them on the defensive to start. They'll _want_ to deal with me 'cause I'm Mrs. Captain America so by the time they realize I'm setting up the board to my liking I'll already be done."

She looked delightfully animated, and everything else aside, he'd encourage this just for that. He liked to see her happy. "And this is why I married you."

"My Machiavellian plotting?"

"Your brilliance."

She grinned widely. "I'm gonna kick some ass."

"And Joey and I will be waiting here at home for you when you're done."

Dipping her head, she kissed the top of Joey's head, then leaned over to kiss Steve. "Thank you."

He grinned at her. "I'll save you the poopy diapers."

"That seems fair."

*

Sharon got a text from Darcy on Monday morning. _Girls are having a thing. Tuesday at 11:30 at Pepper's. Show up or we'll come kidnap you._ She showed it to Steve who promised to clear his busy schedule to be home with Joey.

Tuesday morning she fed Joey just after 11 to give herself as much time as possible before the inevitable leaking, then tossed on her cleanest sweat pants and strolled across the snow-covered grass over to Pepper and Tony's place. 

The great room had its usual brunch spread, and the usual crowd. Except there was an additional woman, who had dark-rimmed glasses and silver hair in a ponytail. The coffee table also had a pile of presents on it. "Surprise!" Darcy said, putting a glass of something that looked like champagne in her hand.

Glancing around at the rest of them she sniffed the drink to confirm it was sparkling cider. "What's going on?"

"The party was Darcy's idea," Pepper said. "I have a going-back-to-work gift for you, and then the concept got a little out of hand."

"Parties are always necessary," Darcy said primly.

"I blame hormones," Jane offered.

Sharon reached out to hug Darcy, then Pepper. "Thank you. This is very sweet."

"Going back was really hard," Pepper said. "No the office really—with Ruby it was literally downstairs. But meetings and especially travel. Having to interact and function like a competent human being." She eased herself down into a chair, apparently done with standing. She wasn't much more than 5 months, but she was already bigger than Sharon was when she delivered. "I found feeling and looking like a competent human being really helped. This is Jen Patterson. Her company provided me my postpartum business wardrobe, and I gift the same to you."

Crying would probably be kind of embarrassing, so Sharon hid the tears welling up in hugging her again. "You are the most awesome friend in the world."

Pepper hugged her as tight as she could around her bump. "I've been there." Sharon knew she'd gone back before she wanted to, really, because her husband could not be left unsupervised in charge of Stark Industries. During her leave he'd nearly provoked the Hulk, blew up the lab, cooked up the beginnings of Ultron, fired several key employees, cursed on on national television, and nearly started an international incident with the government of Japan. Much like Sharon, the wider risk of her being out of commission was too great to ignore, as much as _everyone_ involved wanted to provide a nice long stretch of time home with the baby.

"I haven't had new suits in ages," she admitted. "This is long overdue."

"The rest of us got you things, too," Violet piped up. "Though they are admittedly less awesome."

Sharon got measured and the rest of them helped her pick out suits for her very buttoned up meetings. They had some very neat features—special openings and fastenings so she could hook up her breast pump without having to strip. There were also super-absorbant bra liners.

"I once leaked while giving a public speech," Pepper said. "It was on CNN. So I told Tony I wanted him to figure out how to discreetly line my bra with a diaper."

"When exactly is the Stark Maternity line going to open?" Sharon asked, inspecting the bra with interest.

"I convinced him we need to sell that as surgical and wound dressing," Amanda said. "It's not even really expensive."

"The biomedical division is really taking on a life of its own," Pepper commented. She nudged Sharon. "We're going to be making a version of the BabyPod for NICUs."

"I speak for premie moms everywhere when I say thank you."

The other ladies had given her a variety of practical gifts, including a box of underwear from Darcy that could apparently absorb liquid, so she didn't have to constantly wear pads or liners in case she spotted. And, to her surprise, some very expensive nightgowns from Violet that were practical but lace trimmed and luxuriously soft.

"I know you're used to more risqué lingerie," she said. "But motherhood requires redefining sexy. And there's nothing like silk to make you feel a little sexy."

Inexplicably, Sharon felt herself choke up. "Thank you."

Violet got up to hug her. "It does also get easier," she said. "Then harder again when you have another one, but we'll talk about that when you get there."

"I don't mind talking about it now," Pepper muttered.

Heading back to her seat, Violet said, "Yeah, about that day care Tony keeps talking about building?"

"No, I know, it's time," Pepper said. "Joey plus my two, and whomever else." She gestured at the other women. No one had made any announcements, but Sharon knew several of them were trying. It was that time of life, she supposed. "We'll need a staff. Separate building or do you want them still in your house?"

"I think a separate building is best," Violet said. "We're going to end up with a wider range of kids and I'd like to plan ahead for baby rooms, naps rooms, toddler room and so on."

"Cornel had an early childhood development program," Amanda offered. "It would be a good source of interns and qualified workers.

"Darcy," Pepper said.   
"On it."

They did some more planning, passed around plates of fruit and snacks, and generally had a good time. Sharon's boobs started to hurt, which was probably a sign she should pack up. Amanda and Violet helped her carry her gifts back to the house. 

Steve was stretched out on the couch reading a book, the baby asleep on his chest. "Hey," he whispered, waving at them.

Sharon went over to kiss his temple while the other two waved and set down her packages. "They threw me a post-baby shower. Pepper's giving me a new business wardrobe to wear in DC."

He smiled. "We have good friends."

"Yes we do."

Darcy came over and hugged Sharon. "Let me know if you need help setting your schedule back up. I'm an excellent brick wall to send phone calls to."  "Thank you, Darce."

They left, and Sharon curled up on the couch with her boys, enjoying them while she could.

The suits took about a week to come in and her first round of meetings was the next Tuesday. Sharon took far too long getting ready, checking herself in the mirror repeatedly. She couldn't recall the last time she'd fussed over her appearance this carefully. The suit was a marvel, though. Comfortable, but as crisp and tailored as any she'd ever worn.

Once she was happy with her hair, makeup and shoes she headed downstairs to nurse Joey quickly before she had to go. The pump-friendly features of the shirt made it very easy to do. If the baby wasn't on germ lockdown she could probably have Steve come along and nurse him between meetings.

For his part, Steve had three pages of notes he'd made himself, for what would be the longest period of time he'd had the baby alone—and the farthest away Sharon had been since the birth.

She appreciated his thoroughness and precision, even though it was probably overkill. Pepper complained Tony was alarmingly lackadaisical when left with Ruby. Violet complained Bruce was a little too aware of childhood-injury data and hovered. Amanda complained James sent way too many texts asking her when she'd be back. Steve, he'd over-prepare, and then handle whatever went down without a peep. He trusted people to to their jobs, and expected the same.

She got both boobs drained and carried him over to change his diaper then toted him into the kitchen to find Steve. "Little Man is full and dry. I can leave him in no better state."

He took Joey from her. "You look gorgeous," he said.

"Thank you," she said, feeling it for the first time in far too long. "I think I got this."

"You do," he replied firmly. He leaned over to kiss her. "We're both very proud of you."

She cupped his face, kissing him properly. "I will see you tonight." She grinned. "With tales of my victory."

"Will have dinner on the table," he replied with a grin.

She patted his cheek. "You're a good wife, Rogers."

"Have a good day at work."

"Thank you." She kissed him again and stepped back. "I couldn't do this without you."

"And we couldn't do any of this without you."

After one last long look at the two of them she straightened her shoulders, grabbed her briefcase and went to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos. You guys are the best.
> 
> Steve and Sharon will be back in our as-yet untitled Civil War adaption.


End file.
